I Hate Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber is the dumbest thing since High School Musical. I fucking hate him, with a fucking passion, I'm so much emo when I hear that name or his stupid songs on radio. I wish I had a loud speaker and say this to him in his pussy face--"YOU HAVE NO TALENT WHATSOEVER". He got his fame just because some producer saw him on Youtube and thought "Hey, a somewhat good looking teenager who can not really sing but I can make him famous and make millions because girls will lose their minds over his looks, not his talent!". Do you know that there are a ton of bands out there that have lots of talent but aren't getting the exposure this kid is getting? Some of them would kill to be that famous, and they have the talent to be that famous, but no, little Justin Bieber is all over the place soaking up the spotlight. It's a giant ass marketing ploy cater to patronize young dumb bitches. It's ridiculous. 


Justin Bieber sings like there's a cold cucumber stuck up his ass and his balls stapled to his crotch, way to go to delay your puberty. I don't want to hear his music, I don't want to hear his bullshit. I don't even want to risk hearing it by accident on someone else's radio. Justin Bieber makes me SICK, what a sack of puke. 


I can't understand why anyone likes him, or his "music". I try to find reasons of his songs' popularity. First, I went to YouTube, whoa, bad decision, not only I have to endure listening to shitty music that is hurting my ears, but there are NO praising comments at all, I'm glad that there are 1,224,848 YouTube users whom share my enthusiasm of hating JB. Then, I tried to look around the rest of the internet, to my dismay, the center of the discussion is around the hate against JB and since the fanbase of JB is made out of prepubescent tweens and teens, the best reason they can come out of is "Justin Bieber is AMAZING. He has real talent, and hes adorable." Yeah,  dumb kids, go and learn how to spell and get your grammar right, ok?


Now, why i hate his music so much? I guess everyone has heard of "Baby" this shit already, this song sucks so much because of the tag-team-JB-and-Ludacris duo of shitty music (JB can't rap, so fans, you call that talented??), the forced and flat monotonous auto-tune (again), and its stupid fan base. Here's what JB fans have to say: 


"This song is so sad. i remeber getting my heart brokein for the first time it sucked. and i always wanted to be more then just friends. in this song he is begging for his love to be with him not to leave him because he cant go on with out her its truly a beautiful song.!"


Here's the chorus of the song:


"And I'm like, Baby, baby, baby ohh, Like, Baby, baby, baby noo, Like, Baby, baby, baby ohh, Thought you'd always be mine (mine)" 


And more poignant verse:


"I'm gone, Yeahh, yeah, yeah, Yeahh, yeahhh. Now I'm all gone, Yeahh, yeah, yeah, Yeahh, yeahhh"


Yeah, real "sad" and "heart broken", dipshit. Dumb kids must be blind when they failed to see in the MV that JB was flippin' his jacket, moonwalking, rubbing his crotch and squeezing his ass face to look emotional. Pussy.


The next stupid song is "Never say never", equally dumb as the movie "Karate Kid" as it was featured in. According to danchris2455, the song is:


"Encouraging profoundly!The beat is sick,the lyrics were intrepreted very well and her got to collaborate w/ the karate kid himself Jayden Smith.2 of the promising stars of tomorrow who will take us by a storm for sure.I had been patiently waiting for the Smith's offspring to be on d limelight.They were really impressive back in the days when their parnets introduce them tot he world.On Justin Bieber's pocodot' site,he dishes some of the fun stuffs they sgare w/ lovanle girlfriend Selena Gomez"


WTF is he supposed to mean? You're gargling the keyboard, learn to type and spell correctly, asshole.  I also hate assholes who don't space the word after a punctuation; What is so encouraging about that song??? How does it motivate me by listening to a teenage pussy yammering "never say never"?? What's motivating? THIS. God, these dumb kids have made FM radio unlistenable. I'd rather have my ears sawed off than listen to JB's shit.

What happens to boys nowadays? Aren't people self-conscious any more? What kind of message is he sending to people? "Hey, looking gay is the trend. LOLL~~~~"

Delete the word "manliness" from dictionary and kill me off already

From the way he sings and how late he is hitting puberty, he's likely no balls. It's beyond my fathom why girls would go crazy on a boy with hermaphrodite features? It's these pussies that keep flooding the media with shitty music and gay fashion that ruin everything. Girls used to like manly men like Gregory Peck, Paul Newman, Clint Eastwood, Brad Pitt, etc. Men like them are now extinct, girls like pussies who dress like gay, maybe one day in the future everyone would have gotten so sexually confused and ultimately lead to the extinction of human being. And speaking of sexually confusion, I always thought Ellen Page was hot until I saw these pictures...

Ellen Page is one of my many sexual fantasies...until a douche called Justin Bieber rose to his fame. If I had Ellen appeared in my wet dream, how do I know she is really Ellen in my wet dream? I didn't know it was Ellen who was giving me the fellatio, or a Justin Bieber who happens to look like Ellen giving me an oral? Whoa, I feel so fucked up, can somebody just kick me into limbo?

oh, did I forget to mention about his stupid hairstyle? The bob haircut looks stupid enough already on anyone's head, it looks even more retarded on JB. And you think JB's hair is trendy? Think again, pothead, The Beatles had done so in the 60's, JB is just recycling it and groomed like we're back into 60's. Oh, he's pretty dumb too I heard.

Whether or not this is scripted, this is the message music industry trying to tell you, being a dumb kid is cool.

As if mankind haven't suffered enough already, Malaysia is also importing Justin Bieber this coming April 21. Yeah, we're scared off artists wearing skimpy outfit, but dumb kid singing in live in this land is not our concern at all. Good job, stupid girls from Malaysia, giving away your monthly allowance to this douchebag, did you know how hard your parents earn that money??

Writing this post makes me sad enough already. I don't have any more time or patience to write this garbage anymore. Pissing off now.

PS: I so wish this to happen

Stupidometer for idiotic Justin Bieber fad: 10/10 (applicable to both music of Justin Bieber and his fans)

Rebecca Black's Friday: Stupidest Song Ever Recorded?

Before I start my trashing on this song, please watch the MV below, in case you haven't heard of it, and sing along with the lyric. By this, you'll roughly know what is the ensuing content of this post:

(Yeah, Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ark)
Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah, yeah, yeah


7am, waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein’ everything, the time is goin’
Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)

Kickin’ in the front seat
Sittin’ in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend


7:45, we’re drivin’ on the highway
Cruisin’ so fast, I want time to fly
Fun, fun, think about fun
You know what it is
I got this, you got this
My friend is by my right
I got this, you got this
Now you know it

Kickin’ in the front seat
Sittin’ in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?


It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday


Okay, done singing? Has it ever occurred to you that you have to stop and laugh for a moment on how silly was the song you sung along?  Are you thinking does the kid old enough to have a driving license? Are any of them is even above age 15? Where did they learn their dance moves? Above all, it pops a dull conundrum that we may have been through in our lives: what seat can we take? Anyway, have you click "dislike" in youtube?

This song is an instant YouTube hit when it was uploaded on March 11, 2011 and the view count jumped from 3000 to 33 million+ views as of now. I firmly believe that the soar in the viewing counts isn't because people are looking for a song that is soothe in the ears, but mainly because they're there to click on "dislike" button and voicing out how awful they felt over this song. Major causes of hating this song are:


1. The lyric is plain stupid, repetitive and un-poetic. You may think it's a joke video at first, but then I realized it was serious when it is currently positioned at 19 on iTune sales chart. Most of the buzz surrounds the content of the song,  it talks about the important issues in life. Like, busy mornings, which seat should I sit in, and what are we going  to do this weekend? Sorry, I was just being sarcastic. It's a silly song that blandly detailing a 13-year-old high school student's monotonous daily routine and her desire of "wanna have fun". Let's do some dissection on this song and extract out the stupidity:


The song begins with Rebecca (acronym - RB) waking up at 7am, trying to be fresh, going to eat cereal like any typical day, she must be feel very bored with it as indicated by "Seein’ everything, the time is goin’".  After finishing her breakfast, she marches down the street to wait for the bus. From here, we can interpret the lyric in two ways: she's either on hallucination or it does happen in reality. As the next scene jumps to a group of teens arriving in a Benz, so, we can presume RB is having a fantasy scenario at the bus stop or... there's really a bunch of rich spoil kids coming to fetch her. Then, the notorious chorus kicks in:


Kickin' in the front seat,

Sittin' in the back seat,

Gotta make my mind up -

Which seat can I take?

Refer to the MV, there's actually only one seat reserved for her. So what's the bother of choosing which seat to take? If interpreting metaphorically (take the school bus and go to school/go party with my friends), from the way of the dork waving at 0:37, obviously RB has already made up her mind by going to par-tay.


Then it's friday & partying, bla bla bla, second verse commences with:


7:45, we’re drivin’ on the highway
Cruisin’ so fast, I want time to fly
Fun, fun, think about fun


We're not sure whether it is fast forward 45 minutes after 7am or 12 hours later, nevertheless, why RB would want the time fly since she's having some fun (Cruisin’ so fast, I want time to fly), then, who are the rest of the dudes & dudettes in the car?? (My friend is by my right, she acknowledges only one friend)

Par-tay-ing with friends and strangers

Her only friend in the car, Benni Cinkle

Why wishing the time flies when the time is fun?

Going through half of the song, we can still hear that she hasn't made up her mind of choosing which seat (recall: Kickin’ in the front seat, Sittin’ in the back seat, Gotta make my mind up, Which seat can I take?). Near the end of the song, we hear some nonsensical rap that goes:

R-B, Rebecca Black
So chillin’ in the front seat (In the front seat)
In the back seat (In the back seat)
I’m drivin’, cruisin’ (Yeah, yeah)
Fast lanes, switchin’ lanes
Wit’ a car up on my side (Woo!)
(C’mon) Passin’ by is a school bus in front of me
Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream
Check my time, it’s Friday, it’s a weekend
We gonna have fun, c’mon, c’mon, y’all


Apparently, we have a case of a pedophile stalking a 13-year-old girl and a case of dangerous driving that may cause casualties (I’m drivin’, cruisin’ Yeah, yeah, Fast lanes, switchin’ lanes). On the other hand, RB was seen, from pedophile's POV, she may suffer some sort of hyperactivity as she's seen chilling in front seat and the back seat in which case may be charged of not buckling up the seatbelt, a traffic offense in Malaysia.

Why a bus ‘makes tick-tock’ is therefore beyond analysis, why the rapper wants to scream is ambiguous (perhaps at the quality of his lyrics), and why the time is being conflated with the date is incomprehensible. The song returns to Rebecca herself and ends with repetitions that it’s Friday, there’s partying, there’s fun, and there’s many ‘yeahs’ and ‘woo-s’.

The thing about that song is that it's actually performed and written by 12-year-olds, of course it's insanely stupid. With "Friday", it's written and produced by professionals. That's what's so sad about the whole thing. Thanks RB for reminding me that every Friday, I always stuck in the horrible traffic jam . LOOK WHAT FUN I'VE BEEN MISSING ON.

In short, this stupid song boils down to this:

2. Autotune all the way. In short, autotune is a software that allow singers to sing without the need to be accurate. It's a Photoshop for singing. You don't need skill or talents to sing. The computer will take care everything. To my dismay, the whole track is being done by using autotune. RB could have just hum into a mic and everything's being taken care by the sound engineer. BUT, what is so wrong is that Friday sounded like "Fry-ee-day" or worse, "Fry-Egg". Clearly, the autotune requires some sort of an update. Still, she's lucky to have a shortcut to kick start her singing career. Very unfair to many of those talented (and untalented) still struggling to earn a piece of music market share.

By criticizing this piece of rubbish, I'm like being my own parent without knowing it. Maybe I'm getting too old.  But to me, this is a song where "baby baby" or "sorry sorry" can be swap by "fry-day fry-day". There's no creativity worth mentioning. This is a song popular for all wrong reasons. This is the quality of the contemporary songs for younger listeners who growing up with Justin Bieber. Alas.

Stupidometer: 8/10 (should get a full, but, due to its ability to generate comedic value and thus having a successful viral campaign, it does not deserve a 10. It even inspires me to have a new business plan: Create a studio --> Get a bunch of teenage girls, make songs and music videos, upload said music videos to YouTube no matter how bad they are --> People make fun of terrible video sending it "viral" --> Join in on mocking --> ??? --> Profit.)