This is my post dedicated to everyone

Thanks for stopping by, chumps.


To answer the first "related search", here's my reply:

Oh btw, butthole surfers is a rock band with a hit single "pepper". What? What were you trying to imagine?


Why butthole hurts? You have tried doing this. Didn't you?

Itchy butthole? Try de-itch it this way:

Stupidometer for thesaurus.com: 7/10 (Isn't asshole synonymous with butthole?)

Rebecca Black's Friday: Stupidest Song Ever Recorded?

Before I start my trashing on this song, please watch the MV below, in case you haven't heard of it, and sing along with the lyric. By this, you'll roughly know what is the ensuing content of this post:

(Yeah, Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ark)
Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah, yeah, yeah


7am, waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein’ everything, the time is goin’
Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)

Kickin’ in the front seat
Sittin’ in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend


7:45, we’re drivin’ on the highway
Cruisin’ so fast, I want time to fly
Fun, fun, think about fun
You know what it is
I got this, you got this
My friend is by my right
I got this, you got this
Now you know it

Kickin’ in the front seat
Sittin’ in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?


It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday


Okay, done singing? Has it ever occurred to you that you have to stop and laugh for a moment on how silly was the song you sung along?  Are you thinking does the kid old enough to have a driving license? Are any of them is even above age 15? Where did they learn their dance moves? Above all, it pops a dull conundrum that we may have been through in our lives: what seat can we take? Anyway, have you click "dislike" in youtube?

This song is an instant YouTube hit when it was uploaded on March 11, 2011 and the view count jumped from 3000 to 33 million+ views as of now. I firmly believe that the soar in the viewing counts isn't because people are looking for a song that is soothe in the ears, but mainly because they're there to click on "dislike" button and voicing out how awful they felt over this song. Major causes of hating this song are:


1. The lyric is plain stupid, repetitive and un-poetic. You may think it's a joke video at first, but then I realized it was serious when it is currently positioned at 19 on iTune sales chart. Most of the buzz surrounds the content of the song,  it talks about the important issues in life. Like, busy mornings, which seat should I sit in, and what are we going  to do this weekend? Sorry, I was just being sarcastic. It's a silly song that blandly detailing a 13-year-old high school student's monotonous daily routine and her desire of "wanna have fun". Let's do some dissection on this song and extract out the stupidity:


The song begins with Rebecca (acronym - RB) waking up at 7am, trying to be fresh, going to eat cereal like any typical day, she must be feel very bored with it as indicated by "Seein’ everything, the time is goin’".  After finishing her breakfast, she marches down the street to wait for the bus. From here, we can interpret the lyric in two ways: she's either on hallucination or it does happen in reality. As the next scene jumps to a group of teens arriving in a Benz, so, we can presume RB is having a fantasy scenario at the bus stop or... there's really a bunch of rich spoil kids coming to fetch her. Then, the notorious chorus kicks in:


Kickin' in the front seat,

Sittin' in the back seat,

Gotta make my mind up -

Which seat can I take?

Refer to the MV, there's actually only one seat reserved for her. So what's the bother of choosing which seat to take? If interpreting metaphorically (take the school bus and go to school/go party with my friends), from the way of the dork waving at 0:37, obviously RB has already made up her mind by going to par-tay.


Then it's friday & partying, bla bla bla, second verse commences with:


7:45, we’re drivin’ on the highway
Cruisin’ so fast, I want time to fly
Fun, fun, think about fun


We're not sure whether it is fast forward 45 minutes after 7am or 12 hours later, nevertheless, why RB would want the time fly since she's having some fun (Cruisin’ so fast, I want time to fly), then, who are the rest of the dudes & dudettes in the car?? (My friend is by my right, she acknowledges only one friend)

Par-tay-ing with friends and strangers

Her only friend in the car, Benni Cinkle

Why wishing the time flies when the time is fun?

Going through half of the song, we can still hear that she hasn't made up her mind of choosing which seat (recall: Kickin’ in the front seat, Sittin’ in the back seat, Gotta make my mind up, Which seat can I take?). Near the end of the song, we hear some nonsensical rap that goes:

R-B, Rebecca Black
So chillin’ in the front seat (In the front seat)
In the back seat (In the back seat)
I’m drivin’, cruisin’ (Yeah, yeah)
Fast lanes, switchin’ lanes
Wit’ a car up on my side (Woo!)
(C’mon) Passin’ by is a school bus in front of me
Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream
Check my time, it’s Friday, it’s a weekend
We gonna have fun, c’mon, c’mon, y’all


Apparently, we have a case of a pedophile stalking a 13-year-old girl and a case of dangerous driving that may cause casualties (I’m drivin’, cruisin’ Yeah, yeah, Fast lanes, switchin’ lanes). On the other hand, RB was seen, from pedophile's POV, she may suffer some sort of hyperactivity as she's seen chilling in front seat and the back seat in which case may be charged of not buckling up the seatbelt, a traffic offense in Malaysia.

Why a bus ‘makes tick-tock’ is therefore beyond analysis, why the rapper wants to scream is ambiguous (perhaps at the quality of his lyrics), and why the time is being conflated with the date is incomprehensible. The song returns to Rebecca herself and ends with repetitions that it’s Friday, there’s partying, there’s fun, and there’s many ‘yeahs’ and ‘woo-s’.

The thing about that song is that it's actually performed and written by 12-year-olds, of course it's insanely stupid. With "Friday", it's written and produced by professionals. That's what's so sad about the whole thing. Thanks RB for reminding me that every Friday, I always stuck in the horrible traffic jam . LOOK WHAT FUN I'VE BEEN MISSING ON.

In short, this stupid song boils down to this:

2. Autotune all the way. In short, autotune is a software that allow singers to sing without the need to be accurate. It's a Photoshop for singing. You don't need skill or talents to sing. The computer will take care everything. To my dismay, the whole track is being done by using autotune. RB could have just hum into a mic and everything's being taken care by the sound engineer. BUT, what is so wrong is that Friday sounded like "Fry-ee-day" or worse, "Fry-Egg". Clearly, the autotune requires some sort of an update. Still, she's lucky to have a shortcut to kick start her singing career. Very unfair to many of those talented (and untalented) still struggling to earn a piece of music market share.

By criticizing this piece of rubbish, I'm like being my own parent without knowing it. Maybe I'm getting too old.  But to me, this is a song where "baby baby" or "sorry sorry" can be swap by "fry-day fry-day". There's no creativity worth mentioning. This is a song popular for all wrong reasons. This is the quality of the contemporary songs for younger listeners who growing up with Justin Bieber. Alas.

Stupidometer: 8/10 (should get a full, but, due to its ability to generate comedic value and thus having a successful viral campaign, it does not deserve a 10. It even inspires me to have a new business plan: Create a studio --> Get a bunch of teenage girls, make songs and music videos, upload said music videos to YouTube no matter how bad they are --> People make fun of terrible video sending it "viral" --> Join in on mocking --> ??? --> Profit.)

The quake that shook Japan and the world

Yesterday, an earthquake of magnitude 8.9 tremor off the coast of Japan. It was not a typical earthquake that a Japanese would feel "another day, another earthquake". It was the most serious earthquake occurred in Japan since 1923 and it shook the hearts of all minds all around the world. I stood horrified in front of the TV by the scale of the damage & loss of the event. To compound my grievances, there was another earthquake erstwhile in Yunnan province of China, which have taken multiple lives and hundreds of thousands are forced evacuate. The people in Japan are in my thoughts today and as well as those who may be affected by the ensuing tidal waves. It was a very bad day and the tragedy is far from over as there is fear of nuclear meltdown amidst the rescue mission and evacuation.


This tragedy puts all the little grievances we complain about in our daily lives in perspective. Mother nature has shown us, from time to time, how small we are and how quickly it can all be taken away.

                                The Lord giveth and taketh away


I was thinking, two earthquakes occurred in a day at different places. But it seems obvious that Japan's unfortunate event caught way more attention from the world than the one which also affected the lives of thousands of Chinese? Is it simply because the scale of the event in China isn't up to the par like in Japan? Dude, both are natural disasters that may took lives! Yeah, there was Tsunami swarming the coast of Honshu, potential nuclear meltdown, something like you are rewatching 2012, but the victims in China also need to be treated with the same PR attention too. Why there was such a PR bias? I hope I'll write about this topic in near distant future.


Also, I was also shocked by many insensitive individuals who showed no empathy and how ugly & juvenile their corrupted minds can be. Look at what I saw when I was finding for latest updates of the quake:

I got this stingy sensation in both my eyes and my brain when I read those callous and cold-hearted comments on the news channel of PPTV. You don't need to guess where are those legion of foolish Nationalists are from. I am awed by these, so called  中国愤青's (angry Chinese teen), of how the pride of ethnic nationalism and ugly sentiment of historical burden that is carried for more than 6 decades can overcome the humane side of compassion toward people's suffering. I bet they are the same fellows who play Playstation 3, still dreaming on driving his first Honda/Toyota, oogling and wanking over Japanese AV idol, and having Sora Aoi appearing in their wet dreams. There is no way to dissuade these people to forgo their 6-decade of hate and animosity. Therefore, to these 中国愤青, please put your angst aside, stop flaming hatred and --

Stupidometer of 中国愤青: 10/10

Cafe Vienna at KLCC: A review on a coffee with a stupid name

When I first started this blog, writing or reviewing about food wasn't part of the design at all, until last Sunday, when I was having a tea break at Cafe Vienna of KLCC with my friends, some "Germanic" word in Cafe Vienna's menu caught my eye and made me chuckled on it. That word is:

                                               WIENER


Yeap, "WIENER". It is German for Viennese. It is also a type of German sausage. But, it is more widely known as a US slang term for...ehem... wee wee. Oh, if it's too small for you to see

Bigger Wiener

Plentiful of wieners...

It rhymes with winner

See where the finger is pointing? Yeap, wiener, W-I-E-N-E-R. My friends were wondering what the heck I was laughing about, and I showed them that wiener, sorry girls, I knew that was pretty lewd. But it was the name given by Cafe Vienna, "Wiener Eiskaffee", in layman's term, it's a wiener on ice. I immediately knew what coffee I was going to order and the moment it arrived, it really came as its name was:

                                 Dum dum dum dum dum! Wiener Eiskafee


Just kidding, this is the actual depiction of "Wiener Eiskafee":

Ok, here's my virgin review on coffee i.e. wiener... sorry, Viennese Ice Coffee. At 1st dip (from the bottom), it tasted so bland, in fact, it tasted almost like Nescafe from some kopitiam diluted with ice. I didn't really smell any coffee aroma nor any coffee taste would left on your taste buds after I took the 1st sip. It didn't feel bitter at all! That is why I NEVER LIKE any iced coffee. I prefer the traditional way of drinking coffee i.e. drinking it hot! That is what coffee suppose to mean, hot and stimulating! Furthermore, most often the cafe would cut the cost of making iced coffee by using little volume of coffee while filling it till full with ice cubes, basically, it's just like drinking cheap Teh-O ice with an artic pole on top of it, made by some cheapskate kopitiam. My friend suggested me to stir and blend the cream that came with it into the coffee, she said that should be the proper way to drink "Eisekafe". Yeah, I did, but the taste didn't even improve by margin. It still entered my mouth with the Teh-O ice feel...and with a bit of cream. Combined with a stupid name "wiener", it really left a bad mark in my heart. However, the coffee my friends ordered were tasted "okay", according to them. And what they've ordered have a better sounding and classy names i.e. Kaffee espresso and Mozart kaffee Here's what they ordered:

Lame coffee aside. Let's talk about the cafe's interior, decor and stuff my friends ordered. One notable design of the cafe was their ceiling. The ceiling was painted in the style of a classical fresco that you'd have seen in an old church in Italy, except Cafe Vienna's is rather more inane. But hey, we're not visiting Sistine Chapel, we're just wanna have a coffee break. Nontheless, it was a pretty unique feature that made our "yam-cha" session akin to a classy English afternoon tea break.

                                         Nothing epic like Creation of Adam. But it's pretty good for a coffee shop

Both of the chocolate cake and cheese cake my friends ordered tasted pretty good. They were pretty much on par with Secret Recipe's. Chocolate cake should taste like choco rich while cheese cake should have thick cheesy feel in it. By that, the cakes were the saving grace of Cafe Vienna, but it ain't cheap though.

                        Too bad they didn't make their coffee as good as their cakes.


Stupidometer for my coffee: 7/10 (The owner might be oblivious of what wiener could mean, maybe he wasn't that into US culture, nevertheless, the bad coffee really deserved a bad name). There, hope my 1st food review didn't scare people off and with article like this, I don't think anybody would ever invite me for free food review to avoid me "chak-jiew-pai". What's the english word equivalent to "chak-jiew-pai"? Here:

                                             Chak-jiew-pai


More on wiener:

                                 What I meant by German sausage (Oscar Mayer's wiener)

                                          Suck on my "wiener"


==================================================
For those who wanna try out wiener eiskafe and proving me wrong, here's the contact:


Lot 305 & K31, 3rd Floor, Suria KLCC

There are other branches with alcoholic served, nope, not your place to have coffee break, more like places for swing party~

Stupid Question: How to overcome shyness?

Dear Kitty:


I can't believe I'm seeking for advice here at which there's no whatsoever visitor traffic. But that's a good thing, I'm here because I have a problem. I know this is stupid. I-AM-SHY especially with GIRLS. Yeah, go ahead and laugh at me, but hope the advice I've got would be worth while. Here goes:


There's a cute girl whom I work together in my lab. We work kinda close. She's a microbiologist researcher whereas I'm doing genetic research. Ever since I started working at here, she has showed signs of being interested in me like trading glance and giving me a warm smile when we meet. But I always shrug her off. I mean, I would trade glances back, but I'm way too shy to initiate a conversation. Day by day I've grown feelings for her, yet I haven't even had a cool chat with her that last more than 3 minutes. We've just traded "hello".


I think she got some interest in me. I mean, when she sees me, she would look straight to my eyes and say "hi". Occasionally, she would ask me whether I'm going to stay late for OT, my face would turn red and answering "yes" with tone like a newborn kitten. When she needs help in the lab, she often turn to me and seek for assistance.


Anyway, she seems really trying to get my attention. But I'm just too shy that I can't do anything. I'm 24 and I've never had a relationship for that matter. I have this very bad social anxiety. She's attractive and I think there are a lots of guys pursuing her. I would like to ask her out, maybe for a lunch? But I'm afraid she'd find out what a loser I am once we hang out.


I hate my shyness. I wish it go away. What should I do?


Embarrassingly,
A Shy Boy


LOL, you're such a wimp. Sorry mate, if you're only shy toward girls, what you are actually suffering from is love shyness. It can cripple your social life and I'm glad that you did the right thing for seeking help at here because you've shown a will to overcome your chronic shyness.

First thing first, be yourself. Gather all the courage you have and make a move. Do not fear rejection because you have nothing to lose, except, well, maybe, virginity? When you're making a move, you don't need to get weird or feeling awkward about it. Talk to her with confidence. Your pick-up line doesn't have to be Steve Martin funny. An ordinary wit shall be fine. Don't wait too long, ok? Just get past your shyness and work into flirting with her. If she reciprocates, that's a good sign.

The car is in the driveway.

You have the keys.

Full tank of petrol.

You know very well that the car will run.

All you need to do?

Turn on the car.

Don't over think it when there's nothing to think about. 

Don't stress yourself. Just be confidence and just play the game. Don't play to win, just play

 

Do nothing?

Stupid school name

How could you not LOL at this school's name when you saw this while scouting high schools for your children? Sorry, I'm a sucker for adult jokes, this really makes my day.

It seems that the school has to use a permanent IP address as their domain name to get it through the naughty adult content firewall. Why wouldn't they change the school name is beyond my knowledge.

Oh, parents, don't be intimidated by its sexually innuendo name. They achieved their best exam results ever on last year and they promise to work harder to deliver higher quality of education to your children. I like their enthusiasm. You may consider to send your kids to Cockshut Hill College, let them have an international exposure to foreign cultures by joining their summer camp. If you're interested, please contact:

Cockshut Hill College
Cockshut Hill
Yardley 
Birmingham B26 2HX
Tel: 0121 464 2122 
Fax: 0121 464 2354
Email: enquiry@cockshut.bham.sch.uk
Homepage: 62.233.95.44


Oh, as for their stupid name:


Stupidometer: 7/10, school's name just crack me up, so, no full score for them :(

Definition of Stupid

I've been doing some blogging with "stupidity" being the theme of my blog. So what defines "stupid"? According to online version of Oxford Dictionaries (self-proclaimed world's most trusted dictionaries?), stupid is normally used as adjective:

• lacking intelligence or common sense:I was stupid enough to think she was perfect
• dazed and unable to think clearly:apprehension was numbing her brain and making her stupid
• informal used to express exasperation or boredom:
• she told him to stop messing about with his stupid painting
• 
  

This is a sentence built by me using "stupid" as an adjective: I am too fucking stupid to learn HTML code and that's why I couldn't make this blogging site looks attractive nor I could rectify the alignment of the above paragraph. 

Or, it can be used as a noun:
a stupid person (often used as a term of address):you're not a coward, stupid!Ah, building sentence using "stupid" as noun, this is easy: The police officers involved in the investigation of the death of Teoh Beng Hock are stupids.
And a little history of the origin of "stupid":

mid 16th century: from French stupide or Latin stupidus, from stupere 'be amazed or stunned'.  (wow, I feel stupere that "stupid" is derived from French!)

If readers (if any) are still scratching heads over how to use the term "stupid", here are some examples that best epitomize "stupidity": Muammar Gadafi, the cops at Teoh Beng Hock's inquest, some republicans, hatred stirring racists and those who defended them. I think, "retard" is the more appropriate term on them. I guess, idiots run the world.

                                       The idiot who is running Libya
So my blog, like I mentioned before, will be composed with articles surrounding idiots and the idiotic acts perpetrated by them. Their stupidity will be rated with a scale of 10. As of now, I still can't think of a cool name for my scale of stupidity. To avoid further tax on my brain power, I'll just resort to the very cheesy sounding "stupidometer". 
Oh, and the stupidometer rating for people mentioned above: 10/10 duds.

Facebook support GIF? This is stupid

Seriously???? Saw this effing profile with GIF as portrait! See that pic with a mule face clapping his hands in motion? So Facebook finally came to its senses and allows GIF to be displayed as profile pic?

More details at HERE



Alright, I know this is effing down-syndrome-retard stupid. But it just never gets old and can't help doing it!

Stupidity Level: 7/10.

Really stupid post

Ok, I just gonna say a few things. The reason I'm opening this blog is that I've seen lots of stupid things happening around me, be it political, social, or trivial, most of them occur for really stupid reasons. The first stupid thing I'm gonna blog about is the template I've chosen for this site. Yeah, it looks really retarded. I was in a rush and I just wanna get the registration done quick. Yeah, looks cute but a little silly.

Stupidity Level: 2/10.