Stupid Question: How to overcome shyness?

Dear Kitty:


I can't believe I'm seeking for advice here at which there's no whatsoever visitor traffic. But that's a good thing, I'm here because I have a problem. I know this is stupid. I-AM-SHY especially with GIRLS. Yeah, go ahead and laugh at me, but hope the advice I've got would be worth while. Here goes:


There's a cute girl whom I work together in my lab. We work kinda close. She's a microbiologist researcher whereas I'm doing genetic research. Ever since I started working at here, she has showed signs of being interested in me like trading glance and giving me a warm smile when we meet. But I always shrug her off. I mean, I would trade glances back, but I'm way too shy to initiate a conversation. Day by day I've grown feelings for her, yet I haven't even had a cool chat with her that last more than 3 minutes. We've just traded "hello".


I think she got some interest in me. I mean, when she sees me, she would look straight to my eyes and say "hi". Occasionally, she would ask me whether I'm going to stay late for OT, my face would turn red and answering "yes" with tone like a newborn kitten. When she needs help in the lab, she often turn to me and seek for assistance.


Anyway, she seems really trying to get my attention. But I'm just too shy that I can't do anything. I'm 24 and I've never had a relationship for that matter. I have this very bad social anxiety. She's attractive and I think there are a lots of guys pursuing her. I would like to ask her out, maybe for a lunch? But I'm afraid she'd find out what a loser I am once we hang out.


I hate my shyness. I wish it go away. What should I do?


Embarrassingly,
A Shy Boy


LOL, you're such a wimp. Sorry mate, if you're only shy toward girls, what you are actually suffering from is love shyness. It can cripple your social life and I'm glad that you did the right thing for seeking help at here because you've shown a will to overcome your chronic shyness.

First thing first, be yourself. Gather all the courage you have and make a move. Do not fear rejection because you have nothing to lose, except, well, maybe, virginity? When you're making a move, you don't need to get weird or feeling awkward about it. Talk to her with confidence. Your pick-up line doesn't have to be Steve Martin funny. An ordinary wit shall be fine. Don't wait too long, ok? Just get past your shyness and work into flirting with her. If she reciprocates, that's a good sign.

The car is in the driveway.

You have the keys.

Full tank of petrol.

You know very well that the car will run.

All you need to do?

Turn on the car.

Don't over think it when there's nothing to think about. 

Don't stress yourself. Just be confidence and just play the game. Don't play to win, just play

 

Do nothing?

Fooled by love - Women come forward after being loved and left dry by Casanova

KUALA LUMPUR: Four women who discovered they were dating the same man, who eventually cheated them of their money, have banded together to make sure the same fate does not befall other women.

The women had been seeing the 30-year-old Casanova for about a month when he started asking for money.

One victim, who wished to be known only as Tang, 28, said the man she knew as Ken Isaac told her his business was having financial difficulties last year.

He eventually managed to borrow RM26,000, with some of the money coming from funds which Tang had set aside for her mother’s surgery.

“I was initially reluctant but I eventually gave in after he promised to return the money after three days,” said Tang.


Charmed and tricked: Chong and the victims (from left) Tang, Eng, Beh and Lee looking at a photo of the 30-year-old Casanova at his office in Kuala Lumpur Tuesday.
She lodged a police report last month after learning from Ken’s friend that he was duping her as well as other women.

The other victims, who only wanted to be known as Eng, Beh and Lee, all in their late 20s, said Ken had used many aliases – like Isaac Leong and Leong Ken Lee – to trick them.

Beh, who works in accounting, believed Ken had cheated at least two other women and a man of their money.

All the women, except Lee, have lodged police reports.

Lee was reluctant as the Casanova had threatened to “fix her” by claiming that he had connections with the police.

Eng said the conman had even seduced her friends and turned them against her when she cautioned them against going out with him.

The four women met MCA Public Services and Complaint Department head Datuk Michael Chong yesterday to urge other victims to come forward and lodge complaints.

“The only way we can get this guy is if more people come forward,” said Chong.

He said his department had received 22 cases involving such Casanovas since 2006, adding that many of the cases involved more than one victim.

“So far only two Casanovas have been successfully dealt with. But the women have lost their money and much more,” said Chong.

Source: The Star

More on this (you may use Google Translator for the next paragraph though the result may come out funny):

【愛情騙子案例】
愛情騙案屢見不鮮，去年報章曾報導至少9宗的案件，令人遺憾的是，這類案件依然在發生。
● 去年1月29日，32歲的受害者安妮投訴遭一名自稱美國軍醫的網友企圖騙財，更透過視頻通訊拍下她的裸照作為威脅。
● 去年2月25日，一名20余歲的女執行員遭假冒“裴勇俊”的非洲網絡騙子騙走逾12萬5千令吉。
● 去年4月2日，26歲的女執行員第一次上網交友即遇上網絡騙子，遭對方騙走逾1萬令吉。
● 去年4月14日，44歲寡婦因感情空虛，遭比她年輕10歲的非洲男友設愛情陷阱，騙財騙色，損失10萬令吉。
● 去年5月24日，28歲女書記驚覺男友已婚而要求分手，結果遭對方以裸照威脅。在這之前，已婚男騙了她的4萬2千令吉。
● 去年6月4日，47歲家庭主婦受網絡老千甜言蜜語所騙而陷入愛情陷阱，結果遭對方以投資為名，騙走120萬令吉。
● 去年7月8日，50歲的中年女子遭網絡愛情騙子所騙，曾三度匯錢贖回“愛情郵包”，結果被騙走10萬令吉。
● 去年7月13日，34歲的朱小姐陷入一獅城男的網絡愛情陷阱，遭對方騙走29萬令吉。她過後發現另有6名女子曾遭對方騙財，她們損失15萬令吉。
● 去年11月16日，42歲單親媽媽遭網絡詐騙集團設下的“愛情郵包”陷阱，在8個月內遭7名疑來自同一集團的騙子聯合騙走3萬8千令吉。


Source: Sinchew

Ok, after I posted a conversation about love and how stupid it can make us be, I've found that me and my buddy were not really alone in this matter, but luckily, we didn't make any massive financial losses.

Look girls, I claim to be not an anti-fraud expert, but, whenever a man with cash strapped status asking for money (especially those that has huge "cash flow" problem), take a grain of salt for whatever he said. A real man doesn't ask money from girls for ego reason.

Also, what's up with women that are obsessed with white/Caucasian males and think they're finally found their true love of life??

Stupidity level: 10/10

Update: Even guys also fall into such traps. What comes around goes around.

Love & relationship can make people stupid

I was having an online conversation with one of my good buddies. Recently, he was plagued by a relationship problem which can be attributed to differing views on "long-term commitment plan between two lovebirds". Problem like this can really affect your concentration during work and losing hope in continuing the relationship. Here's how the conversation unfolded with nom de guerre:

Pierre: erm...is flexible d. today in bad condition to do work

me: huh, what u mean bad?

Pierre: erm...just heart still affect by recently issue facing

me: means u still care for her. not like us, want to care for a girl oso no chance

Pierre: few year is not easy to forget

me: yea. tats y u need to work hard on maintainence

Pierre: i should admit that

me: dun feel despair

Pierre: I really lose in her hand

me: relationship is abt 2 ppl working hard to maintain. be patient la. the time will come if she feels suitable. maybe u can try to find out more on what she wants

Pierre: yup, u're right. "nothing gonna change my love for you" is best express what I'm feeling now

me: haha, give both of urself sometime. see, dun force/mention this topic too often, give both of u some space. let things occur smoothly. the best u can do is 增进感情,打开她的心窗，when the r/ship is close enough, u'll get what u hope 4

Pierre: bro, serious speaking, u sound like professional love advisor now. what u said is exactly correct

me: eh...shame on me la, if im love expert, my good friend or Stephanie is ady my gf

Pierre: the word u said is correct n making a sense. I totally agree what u said

me: it's like work loh, if u work too much, too stress n no rest, u start to hate the job, like my previous job, i used to hate it so much bcoz of its time n no freedom at all, no time to yam cha with u all also, but now i look back, i realized there was sweet time oso, same thing like r/ship, if u stress both of u too much, r/ship sure will be affected. what im suggesting is, continue to b romantic, give in more sweet talk, dun stress her on the future. let both of u enjoy the time being together, with time like tat, both of u will like 老夫老妻ady. whether marry or not, the time will eventually come

Pierre: Bro, 真的很谢谢你, you totally 'wake me' up, you are right, you are perfect, what you said is what I forget to do now :(. unfortunately, without you mention, I almost forget it

me: yeah, u got a relationship to cherish, unlike single like me. so cherish it

Pierre: I'm such a lousy men

me: there's a song call "Cherish" by kool & the gang, u shud download n listen, read the lyric's meaning, then u'll appreciate

Pierre: old song?

me: yeah, 80's, tats y i cherish all my friends i know n keep in contact

Pierre: I really hope that time can back now

me: too bad some high school friends didnt contact much n walk different lives, until we all feel like strangers. no, i wont let that happen anymore. the time sure can come back

Pierre: after u get everything, I start to lose myself

me: if u put in effort, date her this weekend, go somewhere else, talking heart 2 heart, tell her how much important she is to u

Pierre: I feel very guilty to her, what I'm doing recently, when I facing problem with her, at the same time, Linda comes back to look for me

me: stay focus

Pierre: then I start to chat more with Linda

me: dun be like me, career wise 三心两意，how 2 progress?

Pierre: I'm fuck n lousy man

me: i dun wan the same thing happened to me happen to u. remember what was the purpose u chase her? 当初的约定?

Pierre: yup

me: n she returned her love to u, dun betray that feelings

Pierre: I start to disturb her life first. now when we get used to each other. I start to ask for more. what I'm doing now. fuck man. I ald lose myself

me: no, ur not disturbing her, u were bringing happiness to her n u will still bringing happiness to her. tats all u do

Pierre: I will chase her back. I should keep the distance with ching yee

me: yeah, make clear of the status

Pierre: I should be loyal to her even though we facing relationship problem

me: meantime, apologize to her if u offended her

Pierre: I'm fuck. how can I make a girl cry. this shouldn't be happen

me: How did u fuck up?

Pierre: I'm fuck. I really is a big bad man. I shouldn't said sth hurt her n ignore her. I shouldn't pressure her

me: have u apologize yet? if not, better do it. Otherwise, you're the biggest douche of the universe

Pierre: I'm really lose myself

me: tell her tonight. tat u were sorry on what u said

Pierre: ok guy. thanks a lot. I think I should back home now

me: u said silly things bcoz u care too much 4 her

Pierre: prepare what I should do. what am I doing all the times b4

me: yeah, good luck to u tonight man!

Pierre: if don't have a girl accompany with me

me: remember, sincere apologize wins her heart back

Pierre: what is the pt that u get everytjhing. thanks guy

me: yeah, tats y i feel life is hopeless

Pierre: I really appreciate for ur help

me: i wish somebody like my good friend r there to support me. ur different. remember Appreciate her!
Cherish. i also go la, all the best mate!

Pierre: ok

To anyone bothers to read this, yeah, I guess there are times we act stupid and silly because of the very complex notion called love. I used to be so naive that love could exclusively mean happiness. Nah, it makes people feel despair, frustrated, envious and worse, leading to relationship chasm that might not be mended. And from the message above, you can see that I was being sentimental too! Hah! Guess that's part of life to make us more like... a human.

Oh funny part is, i was called relationship expert?? Oh please, i was spending my valentine alone for decades and I was bestowed by an undeserved honor.

Stupidity level: Indefinite.