Timothy Lim Seng Yen? Hey, I worked for one of the Fortune 500 companies too.... sort of

Whoa, another Malaysian landed a job in a Fortune 500 companies, earned double-degree from some prestigious university, and even got himself into an iPhone 4 design team! Great achievements indeed. But I just don't understand why Malaysian would treat this piece of news like a big deal and admire him like a God (find it in local forum and you'll see signs of worshiping)? It's not as if he has any plan to come back to "serve" for his country, kickstart his career out of nothing, establishing his own company and make it into Fortune 500. He's still a business analyst at Yahoo! (failing internet company), he's not going to work for shitty pay in Malaysia and he was only an intern in that iPhone 4 design team!


That shows how pitiful is Malaysian's mentality. Another typical Malaysian working for some random top company and our people flock to lick his balls like that white cream in Oreo cookies. Our people have just never thought that if they could work as hard as Timothy or any successful people, they could have carved their own successful paths rather than posting on fora yearning for people's achievements or lamenting how pariah their lives are. If being envious are Malaysian's would like to be, so be it. 


I used to work for one of the Fortune 500 companies and I was also interviewed by local press. Nothing big deal, seriously. Because I had quit. I felt life was too short to work your ass nine to five and for all the credits would eventually go to your superior whom did really nothing but preparing bullet points for PowerPoint slides. Till now, I'm still not working. Yeah, and that's why I have the time to dig out that local press coverage of myself working for a Fortune 500 company and post it at here. So, kneel to me, Malaysian roaches!!


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SHAH ALAM, June 10 (REUTERS): Frankie Foo, a recent graduate of UTAR, has secured a position with the McDonald's Corporation, a high-ranking Fortune 500 company.

"I'm tremendously excited to have this opportunity to work with the world's number-one restaurant chain," said Foo, 23, squeezing mayonnaise onto a Big Mac at the RM 2 million company's Taman Sri Muda branch Monday. "I am determined to prove that their difficult decision to go with me over Mohammad Khairul was not a mistake."

According to Foo, it was McDonald's impressive Fortune 500 rank of 359–along with the fact that a branch office is located just down the street from his parents' house, where he resides--that convinced him to sign with the company. 

"I had competing offers from both King’s Confectionary and Secret Recipe, but neither of those companies makes the list of top-grossing Malaysia businesses, much less the Fortune 500," Frankie said. "Secret Recipe actually offered me a compensation package that was slightly better than the one I stood to receive at McDonald's, with a base salary of RM 6.50 an hour and a 50-cent raise after the 6-month probation period, plus a RM 25 signing bonus. But in the final analysis, I felt it was in my long-term best interest to go with a global leader." 

Guaranteed at least 32 hours a week in his new post, Foo said he is "extremely enthused by the numbers [he's] seen" in McDonald's financial summaries. 

"For the third-quarter of year 2008, total revenues for the company rose 11 percent to $6.27 billion," Foo said. "Net income rose 6 percent to $1.07 billion. That's a healthy growth amidst the global recession!" 

Even more encouraging, Foo said, is the company's varieties of food and aggressive marketing.

“I’m always an enthusiast to every single burger in McDonald’s. The rich choices in the menu confer the consumers borderless of delicacy. I mean, who could ever reject Spicy Chicken McDeluxe??? As a biologist also, I know that food is essential to support the life system. You can’t strap your stomach and still have to eat at the end of the day. So it’s better for a fresh grad like me to join a global company that is recession-resistant and gives me a sense of job security.” 

Despite Foo’s lack of experience, McDonald's executives are confident that he can bring a new dimension to the company. 

"We're very happy to have Frankie on board," said Noor Aisha, manager of the Taman Sri Muda location. "I saw a lot of part-time working experiences on his application, and that's always a good sign." 

In his first days on the job, Foo has already shown great promise. He has absorbed vital information about how the Taman Sri Muda link in McDonald's chain of stores works, including where the brooms are kept and how to break down the cardboard boxes for recycling pick-up. 

"Right now, I'm just trying to take in as much as I can, watching everything that goes on around me," said Foo, who, as a drive-thru cashier, will directly handle a portion of the company's projected year-2008 revenue of $14 billion. "But hopefully soon, I can get in there and begin to effect some real changes of my own. I wish the experience of working in McDonald’s will help me to know how a restaurant is actually being run. It will be very instrumental when I can own my own restaurant business." 

Foo's plans include a full-scale restructuring of the walk-in freezer to get the chicken-patty bags off the floor and the installation of a customer complain box on every dining table to collect customer’s feedbacks. He is also very excited to show a new marketing tagline for McDonald’s (picture below).

"I can't tell you how energizing it is to be part of a dynamic company that controls a whopping 30 percent of the Malaysia fast-food market," Foo said. "There's just so much to look forward to."

McDonald's President & COO Ralph Alvarez agreed.

"We just won a competitive bid with the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority to open 11 new food-service plazas," said Alvarez, speaking from the company's Oak Brook, IL, headquarters. "Those outlets should translate to an additional $50 million in annual sales. In addition, we recently reached an exclusive agreement with Mattel to sell Barbie dolls and Spongebob figures."

Foo has already been tabbed to play a role in the multimillion-dollar Mattel deal, assigned the important task of folding the specially designed Barbie doll Happy Meal boxes.

"If handled correctly, this in-store promotion could be as successful as the one for Snoopy figures, which resulted in mile-long lines out the door," Foo said. "That would mean a strong final quarter heading into 2009 and plenty of extra weekend hours for me."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Hmm, occasionally I still miss the smile on a child's face when he was unboxing the happy meal to see what shitty toy I'd packed for him. Maybe I should start writing a resume for McDonald's and re-applying for that same job. Job satisfaction is what it counts. 

I just know that that doesn’t make any sense, but I’m just not sure why.

You may often find yourself in this situation: “This is f***ing nonsense! Haven’t this guy got a brain to think?” Yes, he did, but not effectively. You may also being left frustrated to know in your heart that what you’ve just heard is nonsense but not being able to pinpoint why it is nonsense. What happened to the basic common sense? You know? That reflex in your brain that used to make you scream bullshit!  To everyone’s dismay, nonsense comes about every day and unfortunately, committed by even supposedly high intelligent/wisdom people (For example, your local government or your boss). I also find myself from time to time. None of us is immune to nonsense.

Are men and women by nature hopelessly muddled creatures? By nature, yes. Muddled, yes. Hopelessly, no. Men and women may be rational animals, but they are not by nature reasoning animals. We often think with the tendencies of: disorderly, beginning at an inappropriate place or failing to proceed properly; disorganized, with different objects not properly distinguished from each other or properly categorized; inconsistent, often with direct self-contradiction; unclear, whether intentionally or unintentionally; irrelevant, that is, injecting information or arguments that are irrelevant to what is being asserted; or incomplete, omitting some important fact, point or perspective.

Here is the list of patterns that seem to characterize the ways that people tend to respond and think. Almost, if not all the myriad ways that our thinking can go illogical. Let’s not call them laws, and, since they’re not particularly original, I won’t attached my name to them. For example, people:

1. Tend to believe what they want to believe

2. Tend to project their own biases or experiences upon situations

3. Tend to generalize from a specific event.

4. Tend to get personally involved in the analysis of an issue and tend to let their feelings overcome a sense of objectivity

5. Are not good listeners. They hear selectively. They often hear only what they want to hear.

6. Are eager to rationalize

7. Are often unable to distinguish what is relevant from what is irrelevant.

8. Are easily diverted from the specific issue at hand.

9. Are usually unwilling to explore thoroughly the ramifications of a topic; tend to oversimplify.

10. Often judge from appearances. They observe something, misinterpret what they observe and make terrible errors in judgment.

11. Often simply don’t know what they are talking about, especially in matters of general discussion. They rarely think carefully before they speak, but they allow their feelings, prejudices, biases, likes, dislikes, hopes and frustrations to supersede careful thinking.

12. Rarely act according to a set of consistent standards. Rarely do they examine the evidence and then form a conclusion. Rather, they tend to do whatever they want to do and to believe whatever they want to believe and then find whatever evidence will support their actions or their beliefs. They often think selectively; in evaluating situation they are eager to find reasons to support what they want to support and they are just eager to ignore or disregard reasons that don’t support what they want

13. Often do not say what they mean and often do not mean what they say

On top of that, most people want to feel that issues are simple rather than complex, want to have their prejudices confirmed, want to feel that they ‘belong’ with the implication that others do not, and need to pinpoint an enemy to blame for their frustrations.

The above comments may seem jaundiced. They are not meant to be. They are not even meant to be critical or judgmental. They merely suggest that it is a natural human tendency to be subjective rather than objective and that the untrained mind will usually take the path of least resistance. The path of least resistance is rarely through reasoning.

Best disciplinary actions against Malaysian school bullies

Done watching the video? There's nothing new in school bully issue really. But this video which was released a week ago has caused enough shitstorm because the schoolgirl bullies in the video were only given a suspension for.... 14 days. The public find it surprising that those bullies could get away with mild punishment. And here goes my ranting: SERIOUSLY??? WHAT THE FUCK DUDE??? Since when our public schools were turned into pussy landfill?? Where's the good old spanking and caning that has proven to be the most effective way to straighten kids up? 


No wait, why are the teachers and parents nowadays afraid to whack their children around? Back in my schooling days, whenever I screwed up, my parents or my teachers weren't hesitate to take a feather brush and beat me in the ass. It was always a swift move. We never had a conversation about it. They never gave a lecture of "so, did you learn lesson?". The only lesson they gave was the bloody magenta injury marks on my butt cheeks or hand palms. Also, unlike those headline bullies,  I've never once been grounded or suspended in my life. What's the point? giving them a 2-week holidays so that they can spend the time watching rubbish idol dramas, listening K-pop or playing video games? Great idea, why don't we send them to a psychiatrist while you're at it so they can pull some disorder out of their sweet virgin asses to hide the fact that we're a bad parent/teacher?


Like the days in yore, kids or teens today need to be beaten now and then. If we don't beat our kids when they fall out of line, the next thing we'll know your son will go off and pull some "Texas chili bowl" (It involves Tabasco sauce, a telephone, and the anus) off some boy just out of spite. You tell them to buy some eggs and if they refuse, you just punch them in the stomach; You tell them to come back home before 6 PM and if they don't, you just lock the gate and let them starve and sleep in the street the whole night. Don't listen to those assholes on TV with their bullshit hippy psycho babble that naughty kids need counseling sessions and we should give them a chance if they screwed up. Then again, it might not be all that bad because it will make your kids complacent, so it won't be as hard for them to swallow when they realize that they'll be spending the rest of their lives chained to a desk in a cubicle writing reports to make someone else rich.    


The problem with kids is that they think their opinions matter. By not beating your kids, they will think they are so big and can do whatever such as dying their hair blonde and have a butterfly tattoo above their ass line. Now, I'm not asking you to be  a complete rip-off of Asian Tiger Mom. In fact, she's way too pussy, yeah, she might be intimidating but she's not fearsome enough to command fear on her kids.  

My parents meant more serious business than her

So, I'm listing the disciplinary techniques that were passed on from my forefathers and have had been applied onto me for your convenience, especially to the failed parents of those school bitches in the video whom definitely are inept in child bearing (hint: you may want to even print this list and hang it on your fridge as a reminder to both you and your kids). Here goes:


High Five: You have a pair of hands and please apply your parental wisdom to it. Just straighten and keep your four fingers firm together and either leave the thumb off to the side or fold it behind the other four fingers. Aim at your kid’s face and slap on it. Make sure that it is your finger joints that are landing on his face otherwise your palm may get a stinging effect. This is important because you don't want to risk letting your kid think you're a pussy.

High Five

The rising sun: Just ask the question "hey look, you dropped something on the floor?" and when they look down, bust their lip with your knee. You need to do this every now and then to keep them guessing. Don't ever let them off the hook. Just because they're not doing anything wrong doesn't mean that they didn't do something wrong earlier that you weren't aware of.

Rotan, or so called “cane” in English: this is as effective as “High Five” and it was used in the olden days to discipline naughty brats. Furthermore, it is good for general beating, doesn’t hurt your hand and works good enough to send the message.

Cane, or so called "Rotan" in Malay.

The one-two shut-the-hell-up: This can be useful when your kid is making childish demands like asking for allowance raise or insulin shots. First smack your kid (the high five or rotan will work). Wait a few seconds for your kid to start crying, then smack your kid again to let him know that you mean business. This usually shuts them up because they see that the amount of crying is proportional to the amount of beatings.

Double the beating. Twice the faster lesson learnt.

The 2 x 4 / PVC pipe: If you do your job as a parent/teacher, this should never have to be administered. This is for heavy duty jobs only (i.e. any time your kid blurts out a sentence with "I might be pregnant…" or "I can _____ if I want to..." where the blank can be any of the following: smoke, have sex, experiment with drugs, clubbing, etc). Usually the threat of this beating is enough to keep your kid from screwing up.

Hardcore punishment for hardcore crimes.

The skull thump: this is how my father taught me math whenever I couldn’t solve an algebraic equation or a trigonometry. A quick blow usually dealt to the side or back of the head. Simply flick them in the head with your finger. An alternative is to smack your child top of the head with your palm. Very useful for teaching your child to read when he or she is too slow in learning. Hitting your child when he or she is learning builds confidence, or undermines confidence--I can't remember which.

Trust me, this will come very handy when dealing with domestic problems.

The porcelain bowl intercept: if you’re too old to chase your kid around the house, grab some china bowls in the kitchen and throwing all of it at your kid. This can break his head just to let him know who the boss in the house is.

There you have it. These are the basic techniques to discipline your child if you want him or her to at least finish the secondary education and go to college. Remember: never take shit from your kids. You make payments on the house, utilities, their clothes, school, and their food. You own them. Like my parents used to say to me: “If you don't like it, you can move out.”

Car Mods Enthusiasts: You’re Still Driving a Shitty Proton Car, Not a Race Car

When I’m driving on the road or just strolling down the neighborhood, there’s always a sight that can make my head feels like it is made entirely of smoke alarms---modified cars. Car modification is just like girls wearing makeup, because they feel they look shitty (some are in fact) in the eyes of beholders, they have this alarming sense of insecurity and feel like they require a heavy makeup/body-kit as thick as concrete just to cover up their blemish-riddance defective appearance/quality. As for cars, it always troubles me that why people are so obsessed with making their cars look faster than really are. The worst offenders are national car owners, particularly Proton owners. All the cars made by Proton itself are ugly and run no faster than a concrete mixing truck. So, some of the Proton owners would go all out and buy new rims, tint their windows, changing to a larger exhaust, adding spoilers, paint stripes on their cars…. For what? You should know Proton is a shitty car before you even bought it, so live with it. What's the point of dumping all this cash into modifications when it won't significantly change the performance of your vehicle?

Having any national car (Proton/Perodua) modified is like having Carrot Top in a botched plastic surgery: It looked like shit before, but now it looks like big splatter of massive diarrhea.

"Autobots, transform and roll out!"....NOT. More like a transformer got hit by a stroke then coma while transforming. This abomination is more than shits the eye.

It’s ironic that with all the money that these morons dump into modification, they could have saved up big bucks and bought a real Gran Turismo in a couple of years instead of pretending like they driving one now. These retards should realize that no matter how big your spoiler is, how cool your rims look, how much noise your muffler makes. YOU STILL DRIVE A LOUSY CAR; my angst is also extended to those numbskulls who installed hefty car AV system, I mean, what’s the point?? Don’t you have a house where you can place your home theater system and limit your bollock music just to yourself? Oh, I get it, you spent all the money that is supposed to pay your rent to modify your rubbish car. You got nowhere to live but to sleep in car’s cushion and crying in the night listening to some fucktard European disco music. STOP JAMMING WITH YOUR CAR’S STEREO BECAUSE NOBODY GIVES A SHITE. Do some good for the community, ass wipe, use your fucking AV, swing around the neighborhood and tell the whole world you’re collecting old newspaper and old mattresses for a living. Scum.

VRRRROOOMMMM.... honk honk honk! Make way please! Shitmobile is coming to town! I would rather slit my throat than embarrassing myself sitting in this giant pile of metal shit. 

An efficient way to spread gospels around the town: fuck your car up with this stereo, start driving and spread the message of love. 

There was a time I pulled up next to a butthole driving a modified Proton when the traffic light was red. While the light was still red, he started revving up his engine and roll back and forth, great, this was some punk that thinks the gas is cheaper than a bottle of mineral water and trying to warm the planet all by himself. I glanced at his car, glanced at him, rolled my eyes, cracked a grin and turned back to the road. This pissed off the driver and as soon as the light turned green, he went Speed Racer. Way to go jerkweed, what was he trying to prove?

A) That his car is so fast and powerful, that he can beat people who aren’t even racing him.

B) That his car is installed with a jet spoiler and enlarged exhaust, which enabled his car to break the barrier of sound when he stepped on the pedal once the light turns green?

C) Those body paint on his car make it looks sharper and hides the fact it is a revolting Proton Satria.

D) He’s an asshole.

Again, what's the point?

Why didn’t I rev up and race him? Because I’m driving a Proton also, it’s not a racing car and I know it. I could pretend it’s a Ferrari and abuse it with massive modification overhaul. I could put some diffusers at the front and back of my car and pretend they could significantly improve the aerodynamic properties of my car or whatever the hell they could accomplish. But I don’t, why? It’s like pretending my left hand can shape into a mold of tight female vagina, which gives me a good fuck and I can brag to whole world that I bang virgins for fun. Get some reality check, car mods, quit pretending and just drive your car like normal people to school or work. Watching people racing in Protons is like watching people racing in children bicycles (with training wheels). Maybe the competition is there, but it’s anti-climactic, like  watching two old people having sex in the bed.

She never cheats and always there to satisfy my sexual urge whenever I feel convenient.  Oh wait, I'm having the same mindfuck like those car mod-retards. LOLOLOL!!

So what’s the point of having a very fast car anyway? Where do you find ample of space to speed your car in Malaysia? It’s traffic jam all the time on all the roads in the major cities of Malaysia. Even if you’re driving in suburban, there are speed bumps literally all over everywhere and they are so high that it can tear your front diffuser down anyway. Also, if your car can go more than 150 Km/h, you have to break the law to do so. Way to go dipshit, you spent your life savings on something you can't use. Worthless.

Thanks for pissing me, fuck you very much.

I'm mad. I feel like want to punch somebody in the nuts/ovaries. My day is always a fragile one, it is easily ruined by stupid trivial things. I have zero tolerance towards stupidity. Why God created stupid people at first place? Wait, there is a God? That's a dumb question. But why? Why the coffee machine has to break down? Why the coffee machine was spilling oil? Why the coffee machine is no longer leased and got to be returned?? Argh, fuck you. Speaking of ruined days, here are some of the things that ruin mine:

• Justin Bieber
• Rebecca Black (heard it in a KFC today, I slapped the manager's face with a tray)
• Waking up to both douchebags above on radio
• Going into work early.
• Going into work late.
• Going into work period.
• Customer's complaint (bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch...)
• Lunch hour is only one hour. 
• Women, old people and P license driving slow on the fast lane.
• Traffic jam at Federal Highway.
• Traffic jam at any highway, any intersections, any roundabouts and any emergency lanes (Ambulance stuck at there, good, at least the ill have to wait with me).
• Stop signs, red lights, yellow lights, road bumps.
• Hippies
• People that are in good mood all the time
• People updating idiotic status on Twitter or Facebook (who cares where you are dining or what shits you're chewing, oh yeah, go chew some shits.)
• Colleagues passing around Pringles.
• Better pay and bonus at other companies
• Filing income tax

Now here are some things that can cheer me up:

• Not going to work.
• Not waking up.
• Seeing someone run towards me in the elevator while I press the "CLOSE DOOR" button.
• Pulling the door shut behind me when I see someone coming towards me with their hands full.
• Not letting people merge into traffic.
• Forcing people to take the wrong exit because I wouldn't let them change lanes.
• Honking my horn at an intersection, then pretending like I don't know who honked just to confuse people.
• Honk at the school buses that park in front of school compound.
• Drive slowly at fast lane and don't bother to budge despite the butthole behind me is flashing the light
• Spraying water towards dogs or cats.
• Sit my ass in lazy chair and eat
• Park into a parking spot where there isa person waiting for it before me and I'll give him a fuck yeah face.
• Laughing at people who trip and fall
• Beating up children. (Illustration provided as below)
• Pissing people off with things that I mentioned above.

Can't wait to do this for fun

I think that's about it. Wait, there's more actually, I'm just too lazy to write anymore. As if anyone bothers. Hmm, if anyone is trespassing my domain at here, I'll annoy you with this:

Fuck, this ruins my mood again...

I Hate Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber is the dumbest thing since High School Musical. I fucking hate him, with a fucking passion, I'm so much emo when I hear that name or his stupid songs on radio. I wish I had a loud speaker and say this to him in his pussy face--"YOU HAVE NO TALENT WHATSOEVER". He got his fame just because some producer saw him on Youtube and thought "Hey, a somewhat good looking teenager who can not really sing but I can make him famous and make millions because girls will lose their minds over his looks, not his talent!". Do you know that there are a ton of bands out there that have lots of talent but aren't getting the exposure this kid is getting? Some of them would kill to be that famous, and they have the talent to be that famous, but no, little Justin Bieber is all over the place soaking up the spotlight. It's a giant ass marketing ploy cater to patronize young dumb bitches. It's ridiculous. 


Justin Bieber sings like there's a cold cucumber stuck up his ass and his balls stapled to his crotch, way to go to delay your puberty. I don't want to hear his music, I don't want to hear his bullshit. I don't even want to risk hearing it by accident on someone else's radio. Justin Bieber makes me SICK, what a sack of puke. 


I can't understand why anyone likes him, or his "music". I try to find reasons of his songs' popularity. First, I went to YouTube, whoa, bad decision, not only I have to endure listening to shitty music that is hurting my ears, but there are NO praising comments at all, I'm glad that there are 1,224,848 YouTube users whom share my enthusiasm of hating JB. Then, I tried to look around the rest of the internet, to my dismay, the center of the discussion is around the hate against JB and since the fanbase of JB is made out of prepubescent tweens and teens, the best reason they can come out of is "Justin Bieber is AMAZING. He has real talent, and hes adorable." Yeah,  dumb kids, go and learn how to spell and get your grammar right, ok?


Now, why i hate his music so much? I guess everyone has heard of "Baby" this shit already, this song sucks so much because of the tag-team-JB-and-Ludacris duo of shitty music (JB can't rap, so fans, you call that talented??), the forced and flat monotonous auto-tune (again), and its stupid fan base. Here's what JB fans have to say: 


"This song is so sad. i remeber getting my heart brokein for the first time it sucked. and i always wanted to be more then just friends. in this song he is begging for his love to be with him not to leave him because he cant go on with out her its truly a beautiful song.!"


Here's the chorus of the song:


"And I'm like, Baby, baby, baby ohh, Like, Baby, baby, baby noo, Like, Baby, baby, baby ohh, Thought you'd always be mine (mine)" 


And more poignant verse:


"I'm gone, Yeahh, yeah, yeah, Yeahh, yeahhh. Now I'm all gone, Yeahh, yeah, yeah, Yeahh, yeahhh"


Yeah, real "sad" and "heart broken", dipshit. Dumb kids must be blind when they failed to see in the MV that JB was flippin' his jacket, moonwalking, rubbing his crotch and squeezing his ass face to look emotional. Pussy.


The next stupid song is "Never say never", equally dumb as the movie "Karate Kid" as it was featured in. According to danchris2455, the song is:


"Encouraging profoundly!The beat is sick,the lyrics were intrepreted very well and her got to collaborate w/ the karate kid himself Jayden Smith.2 of the promising stars of tomorrow who will take us by a storm for sure.I had been patiently waiting for the Smith's offspring to be on d limelight.They were really impressive back in the days when their parnets introduce them tot he world.On Justin Bieber's pocodot' site,he dishes some of the fun stuffs they sgare w/ lovanle girlfriend Selena Gomez"


WTF is he supposed to mean? You're gargling the keyboard, learn to type and spell correctly, asshole.  I also hate assholes who don't space the word after a punctuation; What is so encouraging about that song??? How does it motivate me by listening to a teenage pussy yammering "never say never"?? What's motivating? THIS. God, these dumb kids have made FM radio unlistenable. I'd rather have my ears sawed off than listen to JB's shit.

What happens to boys nowadays? Aren't people self-conscious any more? What kind of message is he sending to people? "Hey, looking gay is the trend. LOLL~~~~"

Delete the word "manliness" from dictionary and kill me off already

From the way he sings and how late he is hitting puberty, he's likely no balls. It's beyond my fathom why girls would go crazy on a boy with hermaphrodite features? It's these pussies that keep flooding the media with shitty music and gay fashion that ruin everything. Girls used to like manly men like Gregory Peck, Paul Newman, Clint Eastwood, Brad Pitt, etc. Men like them are now extinct, girls like pussies who dress like gay, maybe one day in the future everyone would have gotten so sexually confused and ultimately lead to the extinction of human being. And speaking of sexually confusion, I always thought Ellen Page was hot until I saw these pictures...

Ellen Page is one of my many sexual fantasies...until a douche called Justin Bieber rose to his fame. If I had Ellen appeared in my wet dream, how do I know she is really Ellen in my wet dream? I didn't know it was Ellen who was giving me the fellatio, or a Justin Bieber who happens to look like Ellen giving me an oral? Whoa, I feel so fucked up, can somebody just kick me into limbo?

oh, did I forget to mention about his stupid hairstyle? The bob haircut looks stupid enough already on anyone's head, it looks even more retarded on JB. And you think JB's hair is trendy? Think again, pothead, The Beatles had done so in the 60's, JB is just recycling it and groomed like we're back into 60's. Oh, he's pretty dumb too I heard.

Whether or not this is scripted, this is the message music industry trying to tell you, being a dumb kid is cool.

As if mankind haven't suffered enough already, Malaysia is also importing Justin Bieber this coming April 21. Yeah, we're scared off artists wearing skimpy outfit, but dumb kid singing in live in this land is not our concern at all. Good job, stupid girls from Malaysia, giving away your monthly allowance to this douchebag, did you know how hard your parents earn that money??

Writing this post makes me sad enough already. I don't have any more time or patience to write this garbage anymore. Pissing off now.

PS: I so wish this to happen

Stupidometer for idiotic Justin Bieber fad: 10/10 (applicable to both music of Justin Bieber and his fans)

Tabasco: Hot Sauce that Kicks Ass

I don't really like the pizza from Pizza Hut. However, they have one secret weapon in their outlets as saving grace--Tabasco sauce, it's a condiment acting like a magic wand that can transform a thick pastry pile of puke into mouth watering Le Repas du Fromage Délicieux. Tabasco sauce is a godsend from heaven, it turns shitty food into something palatable, then turns something palatable into bon vivant exotic meal. 

Behold [Insert solemn hymn here]... The Heavenly Sauce

Main ingredients of Tabasco are tabasco peppers, vinegar and salt. The peppers are mashed, mixed with salt and fermented in aged old wooden barrels for up to three years. Then, it is blended with vinegar and continue mixing and stirring for another month. The result? A kickass sauce that can be put on virtually anything edible. 

Here is what I suggest to putting Tabasco sauce on:

• EVERYTHING

Tabasco goes with everything, and plenty of it. I bring my own Tabasco sauce whenever I can because the condiments served in almost all restaurants can suck Tabasco's ass. Ever dine in Chicken Rice Shop? The chili sauce tastes so watery and I hardly feel any spiciness in it. What about eating chicken rice at some random coffee shops? Even worse, in most cases, the chili sauce served isn't fresh, watery, not spicy, and worst scenario, recycled from the remaining leftover sauce used by previous customers. Really a sack of gross. Luckily, my Tabasco is always there for me, I LOVE YOU, TABASCO. MUACKSS~~

If you happen to be sharing a meal with a Tabasco hating pussy, do not be afraid to pour Tabasco on the meal. You have to be real stern with these type of people. You have to act real tough and manly around them so they feel intimidated, and it helps you feel better about yourself. If they start to bitch and moan about you being "too mean", tell them you're insecure about yourself, and that making fun of others makes you feel better. Then when they're feeling sympathy for you, strike again! Suckers.  

A community message from me: Not only does Tabasco kick ass, but it can also serve as alternative to pepper spray. Women, listen, whenever there's potential snatch thief/sexual predator, do not be hesitate to hurl your Tabasco sauce to their faces. It has spiciness of over 2500 SCU that can cause burning sensation to their eyes. Once they're suffering under the mighty awesome spiciness of Tabasco, don't let the Tabasco sauce go waste by gouging out their eyes and swallow it into your stomach with the joy of triumph over evil. Show those petty criminals that women can be manly with just a bottle of Tabasco in hands. 

Stupidometer for restaurants that don't serve Tabasco: 7/10 (It's just so much better than adding Ajinamoto, they just don't realize how awesome their food can taste with Tabasco despite it's cost)