Sunday, June 12, 2011

Timothy Lim Seng Yen? Hey, I worked for one of the Fortune 500 companies too.... sort of

Whoa, another Malaysian landed a job in a Fortune 500 companies, earned double-degree from some prestigious university, and even got himself into an iPhone 4 design team! Great achievements indeed. But I just don't understand why Malaysian would treat this piece of news like a big deal and admire him like a God (find it in local forum and you'll see signs of worshiping)? It's not as if he has any plan to come back to "serve" for his country, kickstart his career out of nothing, establishing his own company and make it into Fortune 500. He's still a business analyst at Yahoo! (failing internet company), he's not going to work for shitty pay in Malaysia and he was only an intern in that iPhone 4 design team!

That shows how pitiful is Malaysian's mentality. Another typical Malaysian working for some random top company and our people flock to lick his balls like that white cream in Oreo cookies. Our people have just never thought that if they could work as hard as Timothy or any successful people, they could have carved their own successful paths rather than posting on fora yearning for people's achievements or lamenting how pariah their lives are. If being envious are Malaysian's would like to be, so be it. 

I used to work for one of the Fortune 500 companies and I was also interviewed by local press. Nothing big deal, seriously. Because I had quit. I felt life was too short to work your ass nine to five and for all the credits would eventually go to your superior whom did really nothing but preparing bullet points for PowerPoint slides. Till now, I'm still not working. Yeah, and that's why I have the time to dig out that local press coverage of myself working for a Fortune 500 company and post it at here. So, kneel to me, Malaysian roaches!!

SHAH ALAM, June 10 (REUTERS): Frankie Foo, a recent graduate of UTAR, has secured a position with the McDonald's Corporation, a high-ranking Fortune 500 company.

"I'm tremendously excited to have this opportunity to work with the world's number-one restaurant chain," said Foo, 23, squeezing mayonnaise onto a Big Mac at the RM 2 million company's Taman Sri Muda branch Monday. "I am determined to prove that their difficult decision to go with me over Mohammad Khairul was not a mistake."

According to Foo, it was McDonald's impressive Fortune 500 rank of 359–along with the fact that a branch office is located just down the street from his parents' house, where he resides--that convinced him to sign with the company. 

"I had competing offers from both King’s Confectionary and Secret Recipe, but neither of those companies makes the list of top-grossing Malaysia businesses, much less the Fortune 500," Frankie said. "Secret Recipe actually offered me a compensation package that was slightly better than the one I stood to receive at McDonald's, with a base salary of RM 6.50 an hour and a 50-cent raise after the 6-month probation period, plus a RM 25 signing bonus. But in the final analysis, I felt it was in my long-term best interest to go with a global leader." 

Guaranteed at least 32 hours a week in his new post, Foo said he is "extremely enthused by the numbers [he's] seen" in McDonald's financial summaries. 

"For the third-quarter of year 2008, total revenues for the company rose 11 percent to $6.27 billion," Foo said. "Net income rose 6 percent to $1.07 billion. That's a healthy growth amidst the global recession!" 

Even more encouraging, Foo said, is the company's varieties of food and aggressive marketing.

“I’m always an enthusiast to every single burger in McDonald’s. The rich choices in the menu confer the consumers borderless of delicacy. I mean, who could ever reject Spicy Chicken McDeluxe??? As a biologist also, I know that food is essential to support the life system. You can’t strap your stomach and still have to eat at the end of the day. So it’s better for a fresh grad like me to join a global company that is recession-resistant and gives me a sense of job security.” 

Despite Foo’s lack of experience, McDonald's executives are confident that he can bring a new dimension to the company. 

"We're very happy to have Frankie on board," said Noor Aisha, manager of the Taman Sri Muda location. "I saw a lot of part-time working experiences on his application, and that's always a good sign." 

In his first days on the job, Foo has already shown great promise. He has absorbed vital information about how the Taman Sri Muda link in McDonald's chain of stores works, including where the brooms are kept and how to break down the cardboard boxes for recycling pick-up. 

"Right now, I'm just trying to take in as much as I can, watching everything that goes on around me," said Foo, who, as a drive-thru cashier, will directly handle a portion of the company's projected year-2008 revenue of $14 billion. "But hopefully soon, I can get in there and begin to effect some real changes of my own. I wish the experience of working in McDonald’s will help me to know how a restaurant is actually being run. It will be very instrumental when I can own my own restaurant business." 

Foo's plans include a full-scale restructuring of the walk-in freezer to get the chicken-patty bags off the floor and the installation of a customer complain box on every dining table to collect customer’s feedbacks. He is also very excited to show a new marketing tagline for McDonald’s (picture below).

"I can't tell you how energizing it is to be part of a dynamic company that controls a whopping 30 percent of the Malaysia fast-food market," Foo said. "There's just so much to look forward to."

McDonald's President & COO Ralph Alvarez agreed.

"We just won a competitive bid with the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority to open 11 new food-service plazas," said Alvarez, speaking from the company's Oak Brook, IL, headquarters. "Those outlets should translate to an additional $50 million in annual sales. In addition, we recently reached an exclusive agreement with Mattel to sell Barbie dolls and Spongebob figures."

Foo has already been tabbed to play a role in the multimillion-dollar Mattel deal, assigned the important task of folding the specially designed Barbie doll Happy Meal boxes.

"If handled correctly, this in-store promotion could be as successful as the one for Snoopy figures, which resulted in mile-long lines out the door," Foo said. "That would mean a strong final quarter heading into 2009 and plenty of extra weekend hours for me."


Hmm, occasionally I still miss the smile on a child's face when he was unboxing the happy meal to see what shitty toy I'd packed for him. Maybe I should start writing a resume for McDonald's and re-applying for that same job. Job satisfaction is what it counts.