Sunday, August 7, 2011

A long post just to annoy everyone

THE INTERNET HAS SHORTENED YOUR ATTENTION SPAN. FOR THAT REASON, YOU ARE PROBABLY GOING TO LOOK AT THIS WALL OF TEXT AND SAY TL;DR. IF YOU ARE ABLE TO READ THIS ENTIRE WALL OF WRITTEN TEXT FROM TOP TO BOTTOM WITOUT BEING DISTRACKED OR BORED, YOU PROBABLY SHOULD SPEND MORE TIME ON THE INTERNET. RESEARCHES SHOW THAT LESS THAN 4% OF XBOX 350 USERS ARE ABLE TO READ THIS ENTIRE WALL OF TEXT. ONLY 9% OF WII OWNERS SUCCEEDED IN THIS TEXT. PS3 OWNERS ACHIEVED A HIGHER SCORE OF 17%. AMONG PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO DEFINE THEMSELVES AS PC GAMERS, ALMOST 29% ARE ABLE TO READ THIS ENTIRE BLOCK OF WORDS. THE PERCENTAGE AMONG PEOPLE WHO DON’T PLAY VIDEO GAMES IS JUST ABOVE 34%. OF COURSE, THE STATISTICS YOU WERE JUST TOLD ARE FALSE AND MADE UP. IF YOU THOUGHT OTHERWISE, YOU MUST BE AN IDIOT OR A PC GAMING PRICK. DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS A PLACE CALLED THE SOUTH SANDWICH ISLANDS? THE PREVIOUS QUESTION IS RHETORICAL, AND YOU SHOULDN’T ANSWER IT. THIS WALL OF TEXT WAS ACTUALLY WRITTEN BY A NON-ENGLISH SPEAKING PERSON. IF YOU FIND ANY GRAMMATICAL MISTAKES IN IT, PLEASE IGNORE THEM. FOR REASONS BEYOND MY CONTROL, SPELLING MISTAKES MIGHT BE FOUND AS WELL. THE WORD “MIGHT” IS HORRIBLY SIMILAR TO THE WORD “MATE” BUT THEY’RE NOT IDENTICAL. SAYING MATE OVER AND OVER AGAIN IS AN AUSTRALIAN STEREOTYPE. MANY PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN CANADA, USA, GREAT BRITAIN OR ANY OTHER ENGLISH-SPEAKING COUNTRY CONFUSE AUSTRALIANS WITH AUSTRIANS. OVER 100,000 AUSTRALIANS ACTUALLY LIVE IN GREECE, NOT AUSTRALIA. MODERN GREECE IS VERY DIFFERENT FROM ANCIENT GREECE, AND THE TWO SHOULD NOT BE CONFUSED. THE CAUCASUS IS AN UNDERRATED GEOGRAPHICAL BETWEEN THE BLACK AND CASPIAN SEAS. THE CAUCASUS HOLDS MANY NATURAL RESOURCES, HAS THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN IN EUROPE IN IT AND CONTAINS ONE OF THE LAST UNSPOILED NATURAL ENVIRONMENTS IN THE WORLD. I’M NOT KIDDING. GOOGLE IT UP. THE CURRENT WORLD POPULATION IS 6,980,560,683 PEOPLE. THIS YEAR ALONE, 76,173,739 BABIES WERE BORN. THIS NUMBER IS MORE THAN TWICE THAN THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO DIED THIS YEAR. SAVING THE ENVIRONMENT IS AN IMPORTANT ISSUE. THIS DAY ONLY, 11,985,000 MWH WERE CREATED AND USED FROM NON-RENEWABLE SOURCES. FROM RENEWABLE SOURCES, ONLY 2,884,000 MWH OF ENERGY WERE CREATED AND USED. THIS IS A HORRIBLE WASTE OF POTENTIAL AND POLLUTION AS 115,240,000,000 MWH OF SOLAR ENERGY STROKE EARTH TODAY. THE LAST FEW STATISTICS WERE TAKEN FROM A SITE CALLED WORLDOMETERS. YOU ARE NOW MORE EDUCATED ABOUT SOME OF THE WORLD ISSUES. WHAT DO YOU DO IN ORDER TO FIX THESE ISSUES? THE ANSWER IS PROBABLY NOTHING SINCE YOU ARE SURFING ON THE INTERNET. DID YOU NOTICE HOW THIS ENTIRE BLOCK OF TEXT IS WRITTEN IN ALL-CAPS AND USING A VERY OLD FONT? THE REASON FOR THIS IS TO MAKE THE BLOCK OF TEXT EVEN LESS APPROACHABLE AND HARDER TO READ. IF YOU GOT HERE WITHOUT SKIPPING, YOU ARE PROBABLY VERY BORED. LET’S TEST HOW MUCH ATTENTION YOU WERE PAYING DURING THE 5 MINUTES IT TOOK YOU TO READ THIS TEXT. WITHOUT REREADING THE TEXT, TRY TO RECALL THE DIFFERENT SUBJECT DISCUSSED IN IT. PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS TEXT ISN’T EVEN MEANT TO BE FUNNY OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, IT’S JUST A MOTHERFUCKING LONG LIST OF WORDS. THANK FULLY, IT’S FINALLY COMING TO AN END. DON’T EXPECT ANYTHING SPECIAL NEAR THE ENDING. THE TEXT WILL NOW JUST CUT INTO BLANK, ENDING WITH A QUITE DISTURBING WORD SUCH AS MASTURBATION.

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Congratulations, if you skip the whole text altogether to see this paragraph, you're a certified ADD. You completely wasted my time of typing those big chunk of text. Fuck you, and here are two funny pictures for you jerks.