Thursday, March 31, 2011

Pringles: crazy stupid flavors

What is best served together with cold beer, violent action movie and sitting my lazy ass in my cozy sofa? Yep, a nice bag of potato chips calorie bomb. Depending on my paycheck, I would get a Mister Potato during early of the month and a bag of Lay's. Never in my shopping checklist will include Pringles. Why? Simply for the fact that it just doesn't taste good as compared with the two I mentioned, no wait, it just tastes like shit with time goes by. It's not as crunchy, it tastes more like wheat starch than potato starch, it's so salty that my pee would come out denser than sea water after I had Pringles, it's just totally rubbish! 

The only thing Pringles is good at is when I hold a can of Pringles and wave it to small kids at kindergarten, I'll tell them that I'll give each of them a piece of the chip and they will cheer and surround me merrily like the pigeons waiting for old hags to feed them rice, then I'll toss it every single Pringles to the ground and stomp on each of them. I'll savor the scene of tears dropping from the eyes of innocent kids. BWAHAHAHA!!

I just don't understand. With so much money being invested into advertisements and promotion, why didn't the marketing buffoon of P&G spend at least some dime to make it more edible? It really epitomizes the term "junk food", it's a pariah crisps for homeless bozos whom would dig from rubbish and subsist on it. Instead of improving its savoriness, P&G chooses to improving its "flavoring". That's right, more flavors meaning more artificial flavoring being developed and added into the already awful chip recipe.

Here are some crappy chips with quirky flavors to lure gullible teens wasting their money on crappy products and develop stomach cancer/high blood pressure in their later life:

I think this is the abomination that lead me into hating Pringles. Eating this is like eating spoonful of salt.

Really? WTF is this? Since when Grand Canyon is known for french fries??

Are those Chicken Wings? Are they flavored after chicken wings that were dropped on the floor? What???


No longer exists. Packaging looks like shit to me. Also, Doritos own corn chips, got it?
Best served during clubbing, drinking lots of booze and getting laid, waking up next morning finding a bull lying next to you


Blueberry + Hazelnut = butterfly in your colon


Won't try this. Sour cream piss me enough already, but Pringles have to go so far to break down consumers' kidneys


Pickles taste like shit. Pickle-flavored Pringles taste like the pickles you ate passing through your rectum and you pick it up and eat it again. Trust me, I tasted this before and I loathe it.
Non halal Pringles.

Bad attitude Pringles with bad taste
Fat-free Pringles with Olean! Think you can get away from escaping the diabolical lipids that makes your balance having a hard time to support you beneath? Well, think again, Olean is the stuff that allegedly makes your ass spew more greasy shits.  
More rubbish... in jumbo size!

Argh! All this writing is making me hungry for more chips, going to get some Lay's as carbo-loading. Chips that kick serious ass.

Chips for winner. This is what Gods eat after they're done getting laid


Honorable mention:
I heard eating this is akin to having a FINE DINING experience. Only in U.K. I'll import it one day.




1 comment:

  1. Where you got all those Pringles containers? Don't tell us you bought them as you hate Pringles so much! Haha

    ReplyDelete