Saturday, March 12, 2011

Cafe Vienna at KLCC: A review on a coffee with a stupid name

When I first started this blog, writing or reviewing about food wasn't part of the design at all, until last Sunday, when I was having a tea break at Cafe Vienna of KLCC with my friends, some "Germanic" word in Cafe Vienna's menu caught my eye and made me chuckled on it. That word is:


Yeap, "WIENER". It is German for Viennese. It is also a type of German sausage. But, it is more widely known as a US slang term for...ehem... wee wee. Oh, if it's too small for you to see

Bigger Wiener
Plentiful of wieners...

It rhymes with winner

See where the finger is pointing? Yeap, wiener, W-I-E-N-E-R. My friends were wondering what the heck I was laughing about, and I showed them that wiener, sorry girls, I knew that was pretty lewd. But it was the name given by Cafe Vienna, "Wiener Eiskaffee", in layman's term, it's a wiener on ice. I immediately knew what coffee I was going to order and the moment it arrived, it really came as its name was:

                                 Dum dum dum dum dum! Wiener Eiskafee

Just kidding, this is the actual depiction of "Wiener Eiskafee":

Ok, here's my virgin review on coffee i.e. wiener... sorry, Viennese Ice Coffee. At 1st dip (from the bottom), it tasted so bland, in fact, it tasted almost like Nescafe from some kopitiam diluted with ice. I didn't really smell any coffee aroma nor any coffee taste would left on your taste buds after I took the 1st sip. It didn't feel bitter at all! That is why I NEVER LIKE any iced coffee. I prefer the traditional way of drinking coffee i.e. drinking it hot! That is what coffee suppose to mean, hot and stimulating! Furthermore, most often the cafe would cut the cost of making iced coffee by using little volume of coffee while filling it till full with ice cubes, basically, it's just like drinking cheap Teh-O ice with an artic pole on top of it, made by some cheapskate kopitiam. My friend suggested me to stir and blend the cream that came with it into the coffee, she said that should be the proper way to drink "Eisekafe". Yeah, I did, but the taste didn't even improve by margin. It still entered my mouth with the Teh-O ice feel...and with a bit of cream. Combined with a stupid name "wiener", it really left a bad mark in my heart. However, the coffee my friends ordered were tasted "okay", according to them. And what they've ordered have a better sounding and classy names i.e. Kaffee espresso and Mozart kaffee Here's what they ordered:

Lame coffee aside. Let's talk about the cafe's interior, decor and stuff my friends ordered. One notable design of the cafe was their ceiling. The ceiling was painted in the style of a classical fresco that you'd have seen in an old church in Italy, except Cafe Vienna's is rather more inane. But hey, we're not visiting Sistine Chapel, we're just wanna have a coffee break. Nontheless, it was a pretty unique feature that made our "yam-cha" session akin to a classy English afternoon tea break.

                                         Nothing epic like Creation of Adam. But it's pretty good for a coffee shop

Both of the chocolate cake and cheese cake my friends ordered tasted pretty good. They were pretty much on par with Secret Recipe's. Chocolate cake should taste like choco rich while cheese cake should have thick cheesy feel in it. By that, the cakes were the saving grace of Cafe Vienna, but it ain't cheap though.

                        Too bad they didn't make their coffee as good as their cakes.

Stupidometer for my coffee: 7/10 (The owner might be oblivious of what wiener could mean, maybe he wasn't that into US culture, nevertheless, the bad coffee really deserved a bad name). There, hope my 1st food review didn't scare people off and with article like this, I don't think anybody would ever invite me for free food review to avoid me "chak-jiew-pai". What's the english word equivalent to "chak-jiew-pai"? Here:


More on wiener:

                                 What I meant by German sausage (Oscar Mayer's wiener)
                                          Suck on my "wiener"

For those who wanna try out wiener eiskafe and proving me wrong, here's the contact:

Lot 305 & K31, 3rd Floor, Suria KLCC

There are other branches with alcoholic served, nope, not your place to have coffee break, more like places for swing party~


  1. love your very honest comments although I will dare not be like you.

  2. Hehe, this is not a sponsored review so I can say whatever I want. Paying premium RM10+ to drink ice will definitely invite a lynching from me.