Sunday, August 7, 2011

A long post just to annoy everyone

THE INTERNET HAS SHORTENED YOUR ATTENTION SPAN. FOR THAT REASON, YOU ARE PROBABLY GOING TO LOOK AT THIS WALL OF TEXT AND SAY TL;DR. IF YOU ARE ABLE TO READ THIS ENTIRE WALL OF WRITTEN TEXT FROM TOP TO BOTTOM WITOUT BEING DISTRACKED OR BORED, YOU PROBABLY SHOULD SPEND MORE TIME ON THE INTERNET. RESEARCHES SHOW THAT LESS THAN 4% OF XBOX 350 USERS ARE ABLE TO READ THIS ENTIRE WALL OF TEXT. ONLY 9% OF WII OWNERS SUCCEEDED IN THIS TEXT. PS3 OWNERS ACHIEVED A HIGHER SCORE OF 17%. AMONG PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO DEFINE THEMSELVES AS PC GAMERS, ALMOST 29% ARE ABLE TO READ THIS ENTIRE BLOCK OF WORDS. THE PERCENTAGE AMONG PEOPLE WHO DON’T PLAY VIDEO GAMES IS JUST ABOVE 34%. OF COURSE, THE STATISTICS YOU WERE JUST TOLD ARE FALSE AND MADE UP. IF YOU THOUGHT OTHERWISE, YOU MUST BE AN IDIOT OR A PC GAMING PRICK. DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS A PLACE CALLED THE SOUTH SANDWICH ISLANDS? THE PREVIOUS QUESTION IS RHETORICAL, AND YOU SHOULDN’T ANSWER IT. THIS WALL OF TEXT WAS ACTUALLY WRITTEN BY A NON-ENGLISH SPEAKING PERSON. IF YOU FIND ANY GRAMMATICAL MISTAKES IN IT, PLEASE IGNORE THEM. FOR REASONS BEYOND MY CONTROL, SPELLING MISTAKES MIGHT BE FOUND AS WELL. THE WORD “MIGHT” IS HORRIBLY SIMILAR TO THE WORD “MATE” BUT THEY’RE NOT IDENTICAL. SAYING MATE OVER AND OVER AGAIN IS AN AUSTRALIAN STEREOTYPE. MANY PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN CANADA, USA, GREAT BRITAIN OR ANY OTHER ENGLISH-SPEAKING COUNTRY CONFUSE AUSTRALIANS WITH AUSTRIANS. OVER 100,000 AUSTRALIANS ACTUALLY LIVE IN GREECE, NOT AUSTRALIA. MODERN GREECE IS VERY DIFFERENT FROM ANCIENT GREECE, AND THE TWO SHOULD NOT BE CONFUSED. THE CAUCASUS IS AN UNDERRATED GEOGRAPHICAL BETWEEN THE BLACK AND CASPIAN SEAS. THE CAUCASUS HOLDS MANY NATURAL RESOURCES, HAS THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN IN EUROPE IN IT AND CONTAINS ONE OF THE LAST UNSPOILED NATURAL ENVIRONMENTS IN THE WORLD. I’M NOT KIDDING. GOOGLE IT UP. THE CURRENT WORLD POPULATION IS 6,980,560,683 PEOPLE. THIS YEAR ALONE, 76,173,739 BABIES WERE BORN. THIS NUMBER IS MORE THAN TWICE THAN THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO DIED THIS YEAR. SAVING THE ENVIRONMENT IS AN IMPORTANT ISSUE. THIS DAY ONLY, 11,985,000 MWH WERE CREATED AND USED FROM NON-RENEWABLE SOURCES. FROM RENEWABLE SOURCES, ONLY 2,884,000 MWH OF ENERGY WERE CREATED AND USED. THIS IS A HORRIBLE WASTE OF POTENTIAL AND POLLUTION AS 115,240,000,000 MWH OF SOLAR ENERGY STROKE EARTH TODAY. THE LAST FEW STATISTICS WERE TAKEN FROM A SITE CALLED WORLDOMETERS. YOU ARE NOW MORE EDUCATED ABOUT SOME OF THE WORLD ISSUES. WHAT DO YOU DO IN ORDER TO FIX THESE ISSUES? THE ANSWER IS PROBABLY NOTHING SINCE YOU ARE SURFING ON THE INTERNET. DID YOU NOTICE HOW THIS ENTIRE BLOCK OF TEXT IS WRITTEN IN ALL-CAPS AND USING A VERY OLD FONT? THE REASON FOR THIS IS TO MAKE THE BLOCK OF TEXT EVEN LESS APPROACHABLE AND HARDER TO READ. IF YOU GOT HERE WITHOUT SKIPPING, YOU ARE PROBABLY VERY BORED. LET’S TEST HOW MUCH ATTENTION YOU WERE PAYING DURING THE 5 MINUTES IT TOOK YOU TO READ THIS TEXT. WITHOUT REREADING THE TEXT, TRY TO RECALL THE DIFFERENT SUBJECT DISCUSSED IN IT. PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS TEXT ISN’T EVEN MEANT TO BE FUNNY OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, IT’S JUST A MOTHERFUCKING LONG LIST OF WORDS. THANK FULLY, IT’S FINALLY COMING TO AN END. DON’T EXPECT ANYTHING SPECIAL NEAR THE ENDING. THE TEXT WILL NOW JUST CUT INTO BLANK, ENDING WITH A QUITE DISTURBING WORD SUCH AS MASTURBATION.

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Congratulations, if you skip the whole text altogether to see this paragraph, you're a certified ADD. You completely wasted my time of typing those big chunk of text. Fuck you, and here are two funny pictures for you jerks. 



Sunday, July 17, 2011

A quick review on Google+: it's fucking better than Facebook (Also, I'm giving out free Google+ invite)


What the fuck is it?
I guess when you're reading this post, you already know what Google+ is. Google+ is a new social network from Google. It boasts lots of cool features. I like it upon my first usage and I don’t mind Google steals more personal info from me.

Google+ Circles helps me organize everyone according to your real-life social connections--say, 'family,' 'work friends,' 'music buddies,' and 'jerks/assholes who annoy me'. In Facebook, the friend category is so rigid (virtually non-existent) so strangers, lurkers or not-so-close friends alike are all group under the same roof with my close friends. In Google+, you can share relevant content with the right people, and follow content posted by people you find interesting. For example, I might post an announcement about my engagement and show it only to people in my friends and family circles, or maybe I see a post from the circle I created for my book club that there's a recent article on my favorite author.

I can also decide to customize my personal profile information for my circles. For example, my contact details, location, and relationship information would be visible to your friends circle, while my employment history and education would be visible to my alumni association circle.

If you don't add someone to a circle, they will never get to see any post you make unless if it's public. It doesn't matter if they've added you.

Sparks brings you stories on the things you love from all across the Web, so it's easy to strike up meaningful conversations with your friends. 
When you first arrive in Sparks, you'll see a collection of featured interests. If nothing strikes your fancy, search for a different interest.

Let's say you're learning to juggle. You can search for 'juggling,' then add it as an interest so you can always be kept up to date on the world of object manipulation. And if you get tired of people calling you a clown all the time, you can remove this interest. 

Hangouts are the best way for you to say, “I’m online and want to hangout!” Hangouts lets you:

- Chill with friends that are scrolling through the web, just like you!
- Use live video chat that puts you in the same room together!
- Coordinate plans, whether it's working on a project or meeting up for coffee.
- Maybe you’re bored. Start a hangout, invite your circles, see who’s around!
- Start a private video session to show how well-endowed you are.

Okay, so, Facebook is good enough for me, why the fuck do I want to switch?

While functionally Google Plus and Facebook have similar abilities to handle the "Privacy" of the information you post on their services, Google has designed all of Plus around the idea that you will share most information with a target subset of your "friends". They have also provided a greater degree of flexibility on what details you show and to whom.

Facebook has a similar feature to 'Circles' called 'Lists'. However, unlike Facebook, Google+ is built around Circles and you categorise your friends in them when you first add them.

Apart from the privacy aspect, you have a new simple design with fewer colours and buttons. Some may find this a better look than that of Facebook. You also have the hangout feature that isn't available in Facebook. Facebook has recently added 1 on 1 video chat but G+ trumps this with group video chat. 

You can get news from joining Facebook groups but Sparks offers greater flexibility in that you can choose any topic you want and you only get serious news articles. This feature is yet to be fully developed and is bare bones right now. Google is also offering a great feedback mechanism that allows you to highlight certain aspects you would like changed. This is completely different to how Facebook has been operating and might mean faster fixes and more frequent updates.


General Points

1. If someone adds you to a circle and you don't add them, you can still see their posts in a separate section called 'Incoming'. Their posts wont appear in your main stream.

2. If you can't see posts from someone, it's because they don't want to share with you. Not because Google+ is broken.

3. You can see who your friends are friends with. This feature is enabled by default. You can hide all your friends or choose to only show some circles. Plenty of flexibility.

4. There is an option to make public posts that any Google+ member can see. This makes the service behave like twitter as people who are following you (put you in a circle) can then easily see the post.

5. Google+ enables search engine indexing by default so you may want to turn that off. Also, be sure to go through all the settings to make sure they're set to what you want. The default settings beat those of Facebook by far but you should still double check.

6. You can tag people in posts by adding a + sign in front of their names in a post.


FAQ (Fucking Annoying Questions)

Q: How do I see if my friends have added me?
A: When a friend adds you, you receive a notification. You can also go to Circles > People who've added you, and see if they are there.

Q: How can I see which group someone has added me to?
A: You can't. That's part of the privacy settings on Google+. You can only see if someone has added you. Not to which group. You will see everything that the person wants to share with you so if everybody gets a party invite except you, start questioning your friendship with that person!

Q: What if I wanna share something with someone that hasn't added me?
A: If he's on Google+, he will receive the messages from people who have added him in the 'Incoming' section (left sidebar). The same goes for you. If you haven't added someone but someone has added you, you can see their messages in the 'Incoming' section. This allows people to contact you without you having to worry about adding them. If he's not on Google+, he will receive an email with whatever you're sharing.

Q: What are circle and how do they work??
A: Think of them as social labels. They allow you to easily identify social groups and you can then choose what you want to share with each group. This allows for great flexibility so you're not sharing everything with everyone. You can choose to share your party pictures with your 'Friends' or maybe your family reunion pictures with your 'Family'.

Q: How does re-sharing work?
A: If you like what someone as posted, you can re-share it. Think re-tweeting like in twitter. When you share something, you're only sharing the original post and not the comments. Don't worry though, you can disable sharing so no one can share your posts. It's also impossible to share a private post publicly.

Q: Are there communities or groups that I can join?
A: Nope. Currently there are no groups but Google has talked about how they want to incorporate public circles which should act the same.

Q: I can't see a way to private message someone. What do I do?
A: There is no official way to send someone a private message. You can use the 'Email Me' button on someone's profile if they have it enabled or you can just make a post and share it with that one person. You can also tag the person in the post by adding a + sign in front of their name. This means that only that one person can see it and reply.

Q: The email button sucks! I don't want people to see my email!
A: By enabling the 'Email Me' button, people will only get a subject box and a body box. They will never get to see your email so it's completely private (until you reply obviously).

  • Don't feel compelled to reciprocate!

This is not Facebook :). Just because someone adds you to a circle does NOT mean they expect you to add them to a circle. Example: I added Jimmy, an asshole, to a circle entitled "butthurt", but he doesn't know me from Adam, and I've never met him; I don't expect him to be as interested in what I have to say as vice versa! 

This also means you (ideally) shouldn't feel uncomfortable when someone you don't know adds you to a circle. They're probably not asking (or even wanting) to be your friend; they just want to see what, if anything, you choose to post publicly.

  • Don't feel shy about adding people to a circle

and, contrary to my example above, don't ever feel compelled to tell someone what circle you've added them to. They can't find out this info themselves, and it's none of their business :p)

One of the cool things about Google+ is that you don't have to worry about adding too many people, or the "wrong" people. When you add them -- or anytime after -- you choose which circle(s) you put 'em in. Then you just post to -- and read -- what you want.

  • As a good rule of thumb, try to reserve one circle for the people you really care about personally, that you want to share personal stuff with. 
"Friends" or "Best Friends" or whatever. Then, you can do two cool things:
- Add just that circle when you want to share something personal.
- Click on that circle name (on the left) when you want to read posts just from those friends, without the clutter from others (especially obnoxiously loquacious folks like me :p)

But then when you have more time and you want a broader cross-section, or the chance to get to know other people better, you can click on your "Interesting People" list, or even "Stream" (which shows posts from all your circles).

You always have the choice, and if you end up becoming good friends with one of those folks... just a couple of clicks and boom they're in your Friends circle :-).


More tips at here.

In short, I like it better than Facebook for its simplicity, bigger fonts, less complex, more privacy and ease of use.


Things I like:

-It's not Facebook

-Circles (great idea, but a lot of people will be confused by them at first and end up posting stuff not intended for public eyes)

-The Circle animations

-I can group people to my liking, friends under friends, jerks under jerks.

-No stupid games or event invite for now. Even if there's one in future, the circle thingy will decide which notification I would receive.



Things I don't like:

-If my friends share something I posted/shared, it shows up in my Stream again.

-G-Mail is not a tab in G+ like Photos, Profile, etc.

-If I have G+ open in one tab and Google in another, my notifications only get cleared in the tab in which I click on them.

-My chats received keep randomly going to my G-Mail tab so I will be waiting for a response and not realize it went to my G-Mail chat.

Things to note:
- No games. No angry bird. No Cityville.

- dislike Picasa. No photo tagging.

- can share contents to my target audience with ease.

- "other nickname" can't supercede real name.

- Hangout seems cool but no friends to talk to :(

Still a Beta version with lots of expectations. Feedback button is always up there to be clicked.


Fuck you, you said it was a quick review, so shut up already and where's my Google+ invite?

Alright Jose, chill out! Just post your email in the comment box. Please note that I also have work to do so please be patient and I'll attend to your requests soon. Jeez.

p/s: I also sent an invite to my dear Prime Minister YB Najib Razak. I guess he's "too cool" to accept my invitation and gave me a cold turkey instead.

This is how I trolled my PM without even going out for a rally.


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EDIT:


I'm going to further explain on the social circle stuff, which is why I think it's a great appeal and how it pawns Facebook on privacy setting:



Instead of saying, "I'm going to write a blog post now," or "I'm going to send an e-mail" or "I think I'll tweet something" you simply say what you have to say, then decide who you're going to say it to. 


If you address it to "Public," it's a blog post. 


If you address it to "Your Circles" it's a tweet. 


If you address it to your "My Customers" Circle it's a business newsletter. 


If you address it to a single person, it can be a letter to your mother. 


I'd say this is pretty revolutionary.


On Google+, your relationships are solely based on the information you are willing to share with them, which is a lot like real life. We give people titles but that doesn't "really" mean anything and your true relationship is based on what you wish to confide with them; like some people say "My Mum is my best friend" that is partly to do with what information the person is willing to share with his/her Mum. My Mum is not my best friend so I will not put her in that circle.


Example of a fictional circles:


Family (Mum and sibling)
Close friends (best friends I've met throughout my life)
Work colleagues (people who pull your legs in work)
Distant (Aunts who pressure you to get married)
Multiplayer pals (those peeps who pawned me in Starcraft II)
Childhood (People who as adults I do not know but they found me on the internet so I humour them)




Example of my information:


Summer vacation to France photos (all circles, possibly entire web, just to brag)
Look. Just bought a designer bag, guess how much!!! (close friends)
Just setup a savings account, I'm not spending money on frivolous things (family)
Photo of beautiful typography on a store sign (design buddies)
Drinks this Friday? (Korean friends, possibly work colleagues depending on my mood)
My first 6 months living in Seoul (family, Distant)
Easter weekend at the park with the *family name* (Distant)
Anyone prepared anything for the meeting on Tuesday? (work colleagues)


Now some of my work buddies are good friends so they are in two circles, but some are merely people I worked with in a company. I really don't want to send info about a new book coming out or a Terence Conran interview to my family so I have a separate circle. At the moment, work buddies is essentially my twitter but if Google+ becomes popular I can switch permanently.


Take your old school teacher, he is not your friend, you may introduce him to someone as "my old school teacher, and friend Mr. _____" but in a medium where all you are doing is relaying information to each other I'd be surprised if you put him into a friend category; I would put him into "distant relatives friends of the family" then he gets the info about you graduating from university or getting a new job and doesn't get the info about you phoning your ex-girlfriend when you were drunk or going to see the chiropodist next Friday.


The example is extended when a "university" is created, think of it again as sharing information... as a virtual school noticeboard. People you only know through Uni would like this information but your friends wouldn't, and you don't have to share personal info with the weird girl you are doing a group project with.


I think people have been indoctrinated into believing "social network" is just a website where you show off how busy your life is or how many "friends" you have, which it was for Facebook when it was first setup for self-absorbed, arrogant students at the most prestigious universities in America. It's a playground mentality applied to an online tool.


I know it is still early but I can see my circle groups are falling into categories that were previously divided between different online tools: Linkedin, twitter feed, personal blog, design work blog, email, and ironically facebook private messages... then if there is something I don't mind everyone knowing I'd post on Facebook feed.


Google+ (if it gains popularity) will be so good, it's your life and your interactions with people rather than a voyeur's wet dream/normal person's worst nightmare that Facebook is.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Not your typical fairy tale

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess:


“Will you marry me?”


The Princess said No and the Prince lived happily ever after and rode Harley and fucked skinny big titted blonde broads and hunted and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated women half his age and drank Whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard any bitching again.


He also never paid any child support or alimony and ate pussies and fucked luscious cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was fucking cool as hell and had tons of money in the bank.


Also, he could leave the toilet seat up.


The End.


The moral of the story is being a single adult is cool. If  some of your stupid relatives (especially your stupid aunts) asked "Hey Frankie,  when you wanna get married?", just tell them in the face "STFU bitch, it's non of your fucking business." Isn't it right? Who the hell are they to pressurize me to get married? The only chance for me to get married is when I accidentally knocked up some barely legal chicks, and even so I might ask her to get an abortion in Thailand. 


This is the age where I can experience as much of the world as I can and I'm still young to really know what I want in my life. Marriage doesn't succeed because of readiness or "Hey, you're old enough to settle down already". Screw that. You are never ready for a lifelong commitment, you just keep trying and hopefully have a community that supports you in it and you get better at it. It's just like a healthy family. You are born into this lifelong connection to your family and have no choice in the matter. You have no idea how to be a good son or brother or later on a good uncle, but you just learn and eventually suck at it less than you did. Health of the family isn't in their readiness but in their mutual commitment to making the whole family healthy.


Being Single is fun...for now

Mandatory "Being Single is Cool" pic

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Timothy Lim Seng Yen? Hey, I worked for one of the Fortune 500 companies too.... sort of

Whoa, another Malaysian landed a job in a Fortune 500 companies, earned double-degree from some prestigious university, and even got himself into an iPhone 4 design team! Great achievements indeed. But I just don't understand why Malaysian would treat this piece of news like a big deal and admire him like a God (find it in local forum and you'll see signs of worshiping)? It's not as if he has any plan to come back to "serve" for his country, kickstart his career out of nothing, establishing his own company and make it into Fortune 500. He's still a business analyst at Yahoo! (failing internet company), he's not going to work for shitty pay in Malaysia and he was only an intern in that iPhone 4 design team!


That shows how pitiful is Malaysian's mentality. Another typical Malaysian working for some random top company and our people flock to lick his balls like that white cream in Oreo cookies. Our people have just never thought that if they could work as hard as Timothy or any successful people, they could have carved their own successful paths rather than posting on fora yearning for people's achievements or lamenting how pariah their lives are. If being envious are Malaysian's would like to be, so be it. 


I used to work for one of the Fortune 500 companies and I was also interviewed by local press. Nothing big deal, seriously. Because I had quit. I felt life was too short to work your ass nine to five and for all the credits would eventually go to your superior whom did really nothing but preparing bullet points for PowerPoint slides. Till now, I'm still not working. Yeah, and that's why I have the time to dig out that local press coverage of myself working for a Fortune 500 company and post it at here. So, kneel to me, Malaysian roaches!!


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SHAH ALAM, June 10 (REUTERS): Frankie Foo, a recent graduate of UTAR, has secured a position with the McDonald's Corporation, a high-ranking Fortune 500 company.

"I'm tremendously excited to have this opportunity to work with the world's number-one restaurant chain," said Foo, 23, squeezing mayonnaise onto a Big Mac at the RM 2 million company's Taman Sri Muda branch Monday. "I am determined to prove that their difficult decision to go with me over Mohammad Khairul was not a mistake."

According to Foo, it was McDonald's impressive Fortune 500 rank of 359–along with the fact that a branch office is located just down the street from his parents' house, where he resides--that convinced him to sign with the company. 

"I had competing offers from both King’s Confectionary and Secret Recipe, but neither of those companies makes the list of top-grossing Malaysia businesses, much less the Fortune 500," Frankie said. "Secret Recipe actually offered me a compensation package that was slightly better than the one I stood to receive at McDonald's, with a base salary of RM 6.50 an hour and a 50-cent raise after the 6-month probation period, plus a RM 25 signing bonus. But in the final analysis, I felt it was in my long-term best interest to go with a global leader." 

Guaranteed at least 32 hours a week in his new post, Foo said he is "extremely enthused by the numbers [he's] seen" in McDonald's financial summaries. 

"For the third-quarter of year 2008, total revenues for the company rose 11 percent to $6.27 billion," Foo said. "Net income rose 6 percent to $1.07 billion. That's a healthy growth amidst the global recession!" 

Even more encouraging, Foo said, is the company's varieties of food and aggressive marketing.

“I’m always an enthusiast to every single burger in McDonald’s. The rich choices in the menu confer the consumers borderless of delicacy. I mean, who could ever reject Spicy Chicken McDeluxe??? As a biologist also, I know that food is essential to support the life system. You can’t strap your stomach and still have to eat at the end of the day. So it’s better for a fresh grad like me to join a global company that is recession-resistant and gives me a sense of job security.” 

Despite Foo’s lack of experience, McDonald's executives are confident that he can bring a new dimension to the company. 

"We're very happy to have Frankie on board," said Noor Aisha, manager of the Taman Sri Muda location. "I saw a lot of part-time working experiences on his application, and that's always a good sign." 

In his first days on the job, Foo has already shown great promise. He has absorbed vital information about how the Taman Sri Muda link in McDonald's chain of stores works, including where the brooms are kept and how to break down the cardboard boxes for recycling pick-up. 

"Right now, I'm just trying to take in as much as I can, watching everything that goes on around me," said Foo, who, as a drive-thru cashier, will directly handle a portion of the company's projected year-2008 revenue of $14 billion. "But hopefully soon, I can get in there and begin to effect some real changes of my own. I wish the experience of working in McDonald’s will help me to know how a restaurant is actually being run. It will be very instrumental when I can own my own restaurant business." 

Foo's plans include a full-scale restructuring of the walk-in freezer to get the chicken-patty bags off the floor and the installation of a customer complain box on every dining table to collect customer’s feedbacks. He is also very excited to show a new marketing tagline for McDonald’s (picture below).



"I can't tell you how energizing it is to be part of a dynamic company that controls a whopping 30 percent of the Malaysia fast-food market," Foo said. "There's just so much to look forward to."

McDonald's President & COO Ralph Alvarez agreed.

"We just won a competitive bid with the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority to open 11 new food-service plazas," said Alvarez, speaking from the company's Oak Brook, IL, headquarters. "Those outlets should translate to an additional $50 million in annual sales. In addition, we recently reached an exclusive agreement with Mattel to sell Barbie dolls and Spongebob figures."

Foo has already been tabbed to play a role in the multimillion-dollar Mattel deal, assigned the important task of folding the specially designed Barbie doll Happy Meal boxes.

"If handled correctly, this in-store promotion could be as successful as the one for Snoopy figures, which resulted in mile-long lines out the door," Foo said. "That would mean a strong final quarter heading into 2009 and plenty of extra weekend hours for me."


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Hmm, occasionally I still miss the smile on a child's face when he was unboxing the happy meal to see what shitty toy I'd packed for him. Maybe I should start writing a resume for McDonald's and re-applying for that same job. Job satisfaction is what it counts. 

Thursday, May 26, 2011

I just know that that doesn’t make any sense, but I’m just not sure why.


You may often find yourself in this situation: “This is f***ing nonsense! Haven’t this guy got a brain to think?” Yes, he did, but not effectively. You may also being left frustrated to know in your heart that what you’ve just heard is nonsense but not being able to pinpoint why it is nonsense. What happened to the basic common sense? You know? That reflex in your brain that used to make you scream bullshit!  To everyone’s dismay, nonsense comes about every day and unfortunately, committed by even supposedly high intelligent/wisdom people (For example, your local government or your boss). I also find myself from time to time. None of us is immune to nonsense.




Are men and women by nature hopelessly muddled creatures? By nature, yes. Muddled, yes. Hopelessly, no. Men and women may be rational animals, but they are not by nature reasoning animals. We often think with the tendencies of: disorderly, beginning at an inappropriate place or failing to proceed properly; disorganized, with different objects not properly distinguished from each other or properly categorized; inconsistent, often with direct self-contradiction; unclear, whether intentionally or unintentionally; irrelevant, that is, injecting information or arguments that are irrelevant to what is being asserted; or incomplete, omitting some important fact, point or perspective.

Here is the list of patterns that seem to characterize the ways that people tend to respond and think. Almost, if not all the myriad ways that our thinking can go illogical. Let’s not call them laws, and, since they’re not particularly original, I won’t attached my name to them. For example, people:

1. Tend to believe what they want to believe
2. Tend to project their own biases or experiences upon situations
3. Tend to generalize from a specific event.
4. Tend to get personally involved in the analysis of an issue and tend to let their feelings overcome a sense of objectivity
5. Are not good listeners. They hear selectively. They often hear only what they want to hear.
6. Are eager to rationalize
7. Are often unable to distinguish what is relevant from what is irrelevant.
8. Are easily diverted from the specific issue at hand.
9. Are usually unwilling to explore thoroughly the ramifications of a topic; tend to oversimplify.
10. Often judge from appearances. They observe something, misinterpret what they observe and make terrible errors in judgment.
11. Often simply don’t know what they are talking about, especially in matters of general discussion. They rarely think carefully before they speak, but they allow their feelings, prejudices, biases, likes, dislikes, hopes and frustrations to supersede careful thinking.
12. Rarely act according to a set of consistent standards. Rarely do they examine the evidence and then form a conclusion. Rather, they tend to do whatever they want to do and to believe whatever they want to believe and then find whatever evidence will support their actions or their beliefs. They often think selectively; in evaluating situation they are eager to find reasons to support what they want to support and they are just eager to ignore or disregard reasons that don’t support what they want
13. Often do not say what they mean and often do not mean what they say

On top of that, most people want to feel that issues are simple rather than complex, want to have their prejudices confirmed, want to feel that they ‘belong’ with the implication that others do not, and need to pinpoint an enemy to blame for their frustrations.

The above comments may seem jaundiced. They are not meant to be. They are not even meant to be critical or judgmental. They merely suggest that it is a natural human tendency to be subjective rather than objective and that the untrained mind will usually take the path of least resistance. The path of least resistance is rarely through reasoning.


Saturday, May 14, 2011

Best disciplinary actions against Malaysian school bullies

Done watching the video? There's nothing new in school bully issue really. But this video which was released a week ago has caused enough shitstorm because the schoolgirl bullies in the video were only given a suspension for.... 14 days. The public find it surprising that those bullies could get away with mild punishment. And here goes my ranting: SERIOUSLY??? WHAT THE FUCK DUDE??? Since when our public schools were turned into pussy landfill?? Where's the good old spanking and caning that has proven to be the most effective way to straighten kids up? 


No wait, why are the teachers and parents nowadays afraid to whack their children around? Back in my schooling days, whenever I screwed up, my parents or my teachers weren't hesitate to take a feather brush and beat me in the ass. It was always a swift move. We never had a conversation about it. They never gave a lecture of "so, did you learn lesson?". The only lesson they gave was the bloody magenta injury marks on my butt cheeks or hand palms. Also, unlike those headline bullies,  I've never once been grounded or suspended in my life. What's the point? giving them a 2-week holidays so that they can spend the time watching rubbish idol dramas, listening K-pop or playing video games? Great idea, why don't we send them to a psychiatrist while you're at it so they can pull some disorder out of their sweet virgin asses to hide the fact that we're a bad parent/teacher?


Like the days in yore, kids or teens today need to be beaten now and then. If we don't beat our kids when they fall out of line, the next thing we'll know your son will go off and pull some "Texas chili bowl" (It involves Tabasco sauce, a telephone, and the anus) off some boy just out of spite. You tell them to buy some eggs and if they refuse, you just punch them in the stomach; You tell them to come back home before 6 PM and if they don't, you just lock the gate and let them starve and sleep in the street the whole night. Don't listen to those assholes on TV with their bullshit hippy psycho babble that naughty kids need counseling sessions and we should give them a chance if they screwed up. Then again, it might not be all that bad because it will make your kids complacent, so it won't be as hard for them to swallow when they realize that they'll be spending the rest of their lives chained to a desk in a cubicle writing reports to make someone else rich.    


The problem with kids is that they think their opinions matter. By not beating your kids, they will think they are so big and can do whatever such as dying their hair blonde and have a butterfly tattoo above their ass line. Now, I'm not asking you to be  a complete rip-off of Asian Tiger Mom. In fact, she's way too pussy, yeah, she might be intimidating but she's not fearsome enough to command fear on her kids.  


My parents meant more serious business than her



So, I'm listing the disciplinary techniques that were passed on from my forefathers and have had been applied onto me for your convenience, especially to the failed parents of those school bitches in the video whom definitely are inept in child bearing (hint: you may want to even print this list and hang it on your fridge as a reminder to both you and your kids). Here goes:


High Five: You have a pair of hands and please apply your parental wisdom to it. Just straighten and keep your four fingers firm together and either leave the thumb off to the side or fold it behind the other four fingers. Aim at your kid’s face and slap on it. Make sure that it is your finger joints that are landing on his face otherwise your palm may get a stinging effect. This is important because you don't want to risk letting your kid think you're a pussy.



High Five

The rising sun: Just ask the question "hey look, you dropped something on the floor?" and when they look down, bust their lip with your knee. You need to do this every now and then to keep them guessing. Don't ever let them off the hook. Just because they're not doing anything wrong doesn't mean that they didn't do something wrong earlier that you weren't aware of.

Rotan, or so called “cane” in English: this is as effective as “High Five” and it was used in the olden days to discipline naughty brats. Furthermore, it is good for general beating, doesn’t hurt your hand and works good enough to send the message.


Cane, or so called "Rotan" in Malay.

The one-two shut-the-hell-up: This can be useful when your kid is making childish demands like asking for allowance raise or insulin shots. First smack your kid (the high five or rotan will work). Wait a few seconds for your kid to start crying, then smack your kid again to let him know that you mean business. This usually shuts them up because they see that the amount of crying is proportional to the amount of beatings.

Double the beating. Twice the faster lesson learnt.

The 2 x 4 / PVC pipe: If you do your job as a parent/teacher, this should never have to be administered. This is for heavy duty jobs only (i.e. any time your kid blurts out a sentence with "I might be pregnant…" or "I can _____ if I want to..." where the blank can be any of the following: smoke, have sex, experiment with drugs, clubbing, etc). Usually the threat of this beating is enough to keep your kid from screwing up.

Hardcore punishment for hardcore crimes.

The skull thump: this is how my father taught me math whenever I couldn’t solve an algebraic equation or a trigonometry. A quick blow usually dealt to the side or back of the head. Simply flick them in the head with your finger. An alternative is to smack your child top of the head with your palm. Very useful for teaching your child to read when he or she is too slow in learning. Hitting your child when he or she is learning builds confidence, or undermines confidence--I can't remember which.

Trust me, this will come very handy when dealing with domestic problems.


The porcelain bowl intercept: if you’re too old to chase your kid around the house, grab some china bowls in the kitchen and throwing all of it at your kid. This can break his head just to let him know who the boss in the house is.

There you have it. These are the basic techniques to discipline your child if you want him or her to at least finish the secondary education and go to college. Remember: never take shit from your kids. You make payments on the house, utilities, their clothes, school, and their food. You own them. Like my parents used to say to me: “If you don't like it, you can move out.