This page is about stuff and ideas I deem stupid. If you disagree with anything you find on this page, then you're just another idiot.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
A long post just to annoy everyone
Sunday, July 17, 2011
A quick review on Google+: it's fucking better than Facebook (Also, I'm giving out free Google+ invite)
- Don't feel compelled to reciprocate!
- Don't feel shy about adding people to a circle
- As a good rule of thumb, try to reserve one circle for the people you really care about personally, that you want to share personal stuff with.
EDIT:
I'm going to further explain on the social circle stuff, which is why I think it's a great appeal and how it pawns Facebook on privacy setting:
Instead of saying, "I'm going to write a blog post now," or "I'm going to send an e-mail" or "I think I'll tweet something" you simply say what you have to say, then decide who you're going to say it to.
If you address it to "Public," it's a blog post.
If you address it to "Your Circles" it's a tweet.
If you address it to your "My Customers" Circle it's a business newsletter.
If you address it to a single person, it can be a letter to your mother.
I'd say this is pretty revolutionary.
On Google+, your relationships are solely based on the information you are willing to share with them, which is a lot like real life. We give people titles but that doesn't "really" mean anything and your true relationship is based on what you wish to confide with them; like some people say "My Mum is my best friend" that is partly to do with what information the person is willing to share with his/her Mum. My Mum is not my best friend so I will not put her in that circle.
Example of a fictional circles:
Family (Mum and sibling)
Close friends (best friends I've met throughout my life)
Work colleagues (people who pull your legs in work)
Distant (Aunts who pressure you to get married)
Multiplayer pals (those peeps who pawned me in Starcraft II)
Childhood (People who as adults I do not know but they found me on the internet so I humour them)
Example of my information:
Summer vacation to France photos (all circles, possibly entire web, just to brag)
Look. Just bought a designer bag, guess how much!!! (close friends)
Just setup a savings account, I'm not spending money on frivolous things (family)
Photo of beautiful typography on a store sign (design buddies)
Drinks this Friday? (Korean friends, possibly work colleagues depending on my mood)
My first 6 months living in Seoul (family, Distant)
Easter weekend at the park with the *family name* (Distant)
Anyone prepared anything for the meeting on Tuesday? (work colleagues)
Now some of my work buddies are good friends so they are in two circles, but some are merely people I worked with in a company. I really don't want to send info about a new book coming out or a Terence Conran interview to my family so I have a separate circle. At the moment, work buddies is essentially my twitter but if Google+ becomes popular I can switch permanently.
Take your old school teacher, he is not your friend, you may introduce him to someone as "my old school teacher, and friend Mr. _____" but in a medium where all you are doing is relaying information to each other I'd be surprised if you put him into a friend category; I would put him into "distant relatives friends of the family" then he gets the info about you graduating from university or getting a new job and doesn't get the info about you phoning your ex-girlfriend when you were drunk or going to see the chiropodist next Friday.
The example is extended when a "university" is created, think of it again as sharing information... as a virtual school noticeboard. People you only know through Uni would like this information but your friends wouldn't, and you don't have to share personal info with the weird girl you are doing a group project with.
I think people have been indoctrinated into believing "social network" is just a website where you show off how busy your life is or how many "friends" you have, which it was for Facebook when it was first setup for self-absorbed, arrogant students at the most prestigious universities in America. It's a playground mentality applied to an online tool.
I know it is still early but I can see my circle groups are falling into categories that were previously divided between different online tools: Linkedin, twitter feed, personal blog, design work blog, email, and ironically facebook private messages... then if there is something I don't mind everyone knowing I'd post on Facebook feed.
Google+ (if it gains popularity) will be so good, it's your life and your interactions with people rather than a voyeur's wet dream/normal person's worst nightmare that Facebook is.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Not your typical fairy tale
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess:
“Will you marry me?”
The Princess said No and the Prince lived happily ever after and rode Harley and fucked skinny big titted blonde broads and hunted and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated women half his age and drank Whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard any bitching again.
He also never paid any child support or alimony and ate pussies and fucked luscious cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was fucking cool as hell and had tons of money in the bank.
Also, he could leave the toilet seat up.
The End.
The moral of the story is being a single adult is cool. If some of your stupid relatives (especially your stupid aunts) asked "Hey Frankie, when you wanna get married?", just tell them in the face "STFU bitch, it's non of your fucking business." Isn't it right? Who the hell are they to pressurize me to get married? The only chance for me to get married is when I accidentally knocked up some barely legal chicks, and even so I might ask her to get an abortion in Thailand.
This is the age where I can experience as much of the world as I can and I'm still young to really know what I want in my life. Marriage doesn't succeed because of readiness or "Hey, you're old enough to settle down already". Screw that. You are never ready for a lifelong commitment, you just keep trying and hopefully have a community that supports you in it and you get better at it. It's just like a healthy family. You are born into this lifelong connection to your family and have no choice in the matter. You have no idea how to be a good son or brother or later on a good uncle, but you just learn and eventually suck at it less than you did. Health of the family isn't in their readiness but in their mutual commitment to making the whole family healthy.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Timothy Lim Seng Yen? Hey, I worked for one of the Fortune 500 companies too.... sort of
Whoa, another Malaysian landed a job in a Fortune 500 companies, earned double-degree from some prestigious university, and even got himself into an iPhone 4 design team! Great achievements indeed. But I just don't understand why Malaysian would treat this piece of news like a big deal and admire him like a God (find it in local forum and you'll see signs of worshiping)? It's not as if he has any plan to come back to "serve" for his country, kickstart his career out of nothing, establishing his own company and make it into Fortune 500. He's still a business analyst at Yahoo! (failing internet company), he's not going to work for shitty pay in Malaysia and he was only an intern in that iPhone 4 design team!
That shows how pitiful is Malaysian's mentality. Another typical Malaysian working for some random top company and our people flock to lick his balls like that white cream in Oreo cookies. Our people have just never thought that if they could work as hard as Timothy or any successful people, they could have carved their own successful paths rather than posting on fora yearning for people's achievements or lamenting how pariah their lives are. If being envious are Malaysian's would like to be, so be it.
I used to work for one of the Fortune 500 companies and I was also interviewed by local press. Nothing big deal, seriously. Because I had quit. I felt life was too short to work your ass nine to five and for all the credits would eventually go to your superior whom did really nothing but preparing bullet points for PowerPoint slides. Till now, I'm still not working. Yeah, and that's why I have the time to dig out that local press coverage of myself working for a Fortune 500 company and post it at here. So, kneel to me, Malaysian roaches!!
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SHAH ALAM, June 10 (REUTERS): Frankie Foo, a recent graduate of UTAR, has secured a position with the McDonald's Corporation, a high-ranking Fortune 500 company.
"I'm tremendously excited to have this opportunity to work with the world's number-one restaurant chain," said Foo, 23, squeezing mayonnaise onto a Big Mac at the RM 2 million company's Taman Sri Muda branch Monday. "I am determined to prove that their difficult decision to go with me over Mohammad Khairul was not a mistake."
According to Foo, it was McDonald's impressive Fortune 500 rank of 359–along with the fact that a branch office is located just down the street from his parents' house, where he resides--that convinced him to sign with the company.
"I had competing offers from both King’s Confectionary and Secret Recipe, but neither of those companies makes the list of top-grossing Malaysia businesses, much less the Fortune 500," Frankie said. "Secret Recipe actually offered me a compensation package that was slightly better than the one I stood to receive at McDonald's, with a base salary of RM 6.50 an hour and a 50-cent raise after the 6-month probation period, plus a RM 25 signing bonus. But in the final analysis, I felt it was in my long-term best interest to go with a global leader."
Guaranteed at least 32 hours a week in his new post, Foo said he is "extremely enthused by the numbers [he's] seen" in McDonald's financial summaries.
"For the third-quarter of year 2008, total revenues for the company rose 11 percent to $6.27 billion," Foo said. "Net income rose 6 percent to $1.07 billion. That's a healthy growth amidst the global recession!"
Even more encouraging, Foo said, is the company's varieties of food and aggressive marketing.
“I’m always an enthusiast to every single burger in McDonald’s. The rich choices in the menu confer the consumers borderless of delicacy. I mean, who could ever reject Spicy Chicken McDeluxe??? As a biologist also, I know that food is essential to support the life system. You can’t strap your stomach and still have to eat at the end of the day. So it’s better for a fresh grad like me to join a global company that is recession-resistant and gives me a sense of job security.”
Despite Foo’s lack of experience, McDonald's executives are confident that he can bring a new dimension to the company.
"We're very happy to have Frankie on board," said Noor Aisha, manager of the Taman Sri Muda location. "I saw a lot of part-time working experiences on his application, and that's always a good sign."
In his first days on the job, Foo has already shown great promise. He has absorbed vital information about how the Taman Sri Muda link in McDonald's chain of stores works, including where the brooms are kept and how to break down the cardboard boxes for recycling pick-up.
"Right now, I'm just trying to take in as much as I can, watching everything that goes on around me," said Foo, who, as a drive-thru cashier, will directly handle a portion of the company's projected year-2008 revenue of $14 billion. "But hopefully soon, I can get in there and begin to effect some real changes of my own. I wish the experience of working in McDonald’s will help me to know how a restaurant is actually being run. It will be very instrumental when I can own my own restaurant business."
Foo's plans include a full-scale restructuring of the walk-in freezer to get the chicken-patty bags off the floor and the installation of a customer complain box on every dining table to collect customer’s feedbacks. He is also very excited to show a new marketing tagline for McDonald’s (picture below).
McDonald's President & COO Ralph Alvarez agreed.
"We just won a competitive bid with the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority to open 11 new food-service plazas," said Alvarez, speaking from the company's Oak Brook, IL, headquarters. "Those outlets should translate to an additional $50 million in annual sales. In addition, we recently reached an exclusive agreement with Mattel to sell Barbie dolls and Spongebob figures."
Foo has already been tabbed to play a role in the multimillion-dollar Mattel deal, assigned the important task of folding the specially designed Barbie doll Happy Meal boxes.
"If handled correctly, this in-store promotion could be as successful as the one for Snoopy figures, which resulted in mile-long lines out the door," Foo said. "That would mean a strong final quarter heading into 2009 and plenty of extra weekend hours for me."
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Hmm, occasionally I still miss the smile on a child's face when he was unboxing the happy meal to see what shitty toy I'd packed for him. Maybe I should start writing a resume for McDonald's and re-applying for that same job. Job satisfaction is what it counts.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
I just know that that doesn’t make any sense, but I’m just not sure why.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Best disciplinary actions against Malaysian school bullies
No wait, why are the teachers and parents nowadays afraid to whack their children around? Back in my schooling days, whenever I screwed up, my parents or my teachers weren't hesitate to take a feather brush and beat me in the ass. It was always a swift move. We never had a conversation about it. They never gave a lecture of "so, did you learn lesson?". The only lesson they gave was the bloody magenta injury marks on my butt cheeks or hand palms. Also, unlike those headline bullies, I've never once been grounded or suspended in my life. What's the point? giving them a 2-week holidays so that they can spend the time watching rubbish idol dramas, listening K-pop or playing video games? Great idea, why don't we send them to a psychiatrist while you're at it so they can pull some disorder out of their sweet virgin asses to hide the fact that we're a bad parent/teacher?
Like the days in yore, kids or teens today need to be beaten now and then. If we don't beat our kids when they fall out of line, the next thing we'll know your son will go off and pull some "Texas chili bowl" (It involves Tabasco sauce, a telephone, and the anus) off some boy just out of spite. You tell them to buy some eggs and if they refuse, you just punch them in the stomach; You tell them to come back home before 6 PM and if they don't, you just lock the gate and let them starve and sleep in the street the whole night. Don't listen to those assholes on TV with their bullshit hippy psycho babble that naughty kids need counseling sessions and we should give them a chance if they screwed up. Then again, it might not be all that bad because it will make your kids complacent, so it won't be as hard for them to swallow when they realize that they'll be spending the rest of their lives chained to a desk in a cubicle writing reports to make someone else rich.
The problem with kids is that they think their opinions matter. By not beating your kids, they will think they are so big and can do whatever such as dying their hair blonde and have a butterfly tattoo above their ass line. Now, I'm not asking you to be a complete rip-off of Asian Tiger Mom
So, I'm listing the disciplinary techniques that were passed on from my forefathers and have had been applied onto me for your convenience, especially to the failed parents of those school bitches in the video whom definitely are inept in child bearing (hint: you may want to even print this list and hang it on your fridge as a reminder to both you and your kids). Here goes:
High Five: You have a pair of hands and please apply your parental wisdom to it. Just straighten and keep your four fingers firm together and either leave the thumb off to the side or fold it behind the other four fingers. Aim at your kid’s face and slap on it. Make sure that it is your finger joints that are landing on his face otherwise your palm may get a stinging effect. This is important because you don't want to risk letting your kid think you're a pussy.