Saturday, April 30, 2011

Car Mods Enthusiasts: You’re Still Driving a Shitty Proton Car, Not a Race Car

When I’m driving on the road or just strolling down the neighborhood, there’s always a sight that can make my head feels like it is made entirely of smoke alarms---modified cars. Car modification is just like girls wearing makeup, because they feel they look shitty (some are in fact) in the eyes of beholders, they have this alarming sense of insecurity and feel like they require a heavy makeup/body-kit as thick as concrete just to cover up their blemish-riddance defective appearance/quality. As for cars, it always troubles me that why people are so obsessed with making their cars look faster than really are. The worst offenders are national car owners, particularly Proton owners. All the cars made by Proton itself are ugly and run no faster than a concrete mixing truck. So, some of the Proton owners would go all out and buy new rims, tint their windows, changing to a larger exhaust, adding spoilers, paint stripes on their cars…. For what? You should know Proton is a shitty car before you even bought it, so live with it. What's the point of dumping all this cash into modifications when it won't significantly change the performance of your vehicle?


Having any national car (Proton/Perodua) modified is like having Carrot Top in a botched plastic surgery: It looked like shit before, but now it looks like big splatter of massive diarrhea.

"Autobots, transform and roll out!"....NOT. More like a transformer got hit by a stroke then coma while transforming. This abomination is more than shits the eye.



It’s ironic that with all the money that these morons dump into modification, they could have saved up big bucks and bought a real Gran Turismo in a couple of years instead of pretending like they driving one now. These retards should realize that no matter how big your spoiler is, how cool your rims look, how much noise your muffler makes. YOU STILL DRIVE A LOUSY CAR; my angst is also extended to those numbskulls who installed hefty car AV system, I mean, what’s the point?? Don’t you have a house where you can place your home theater system and limit your bollock music just to yourself? Oh, I get it, you spent all the money that is supposed to pay your rent to modify your rubbish car. You got nowhere to live but to sleep in car’s cushion and crying in the night listening to some fucktard European disco music. STOP JAMMING WITH YOUR CAR’S STEREO BECAUSE NOBODY GIVES A SHITE. Do some good for the community, ass wipe, use your fucking AV, swing around the neighborhood and tell the whole world you’re collecting old newspaper and old mattresses for a living. Scum.

VRRRROOOMMMM.... honk honk honk! Make way please! Shitmobile is coming to town! I would rather slit my throat than embarrassing myself sitting in this giant pile of metal shit. 
An efficient way to spread gospels around the town: fuck your car up with this stereo, start driving and spread the message of love. 

There was a time I pulled up next to a butthole driving a modified Proton when the traffic light was red. While the light was still red, he started revving up his engine and roll back and forth, great, this was some punk that thinks the gas is cheaper than a bottle of mineral water and trying to warm the planet all by himself. I glanced at his car, glanced at him, rolled my eyes, cracked a grin and turned back to the road. This pissed off the driver and as soon as the light turned green, he went Speed Racer. Way to go jerkweed, what was he trying to prove?

A) That his car is so fast and powerful, that he can beat people who aren’t even racing him.
B) That his car is installed with a jet spoiler and enlarged exhaust, which enabled his car to break the barrier of sound when he stepped on the pedal once the light turns green?
C) Those body paint on his car make it looks sharper and hides the fact it is a revolting Proton Satria.
D) He’s an asshole.

Again, what's the point?

Why didn’t I rev up and race him? Because I’m driving a Proton also, it’s not a racing car and I know it. I could pretend it’s a Ferrari and abuse it with massive modification overhaul. I could put some diffusers at the front and back of my car and pretend they could significantly improve the aerodynamic properties of my car or whatever the hell they could accomplish. But I don’t, why? It’s like pretending my left hand can shape into a mold of tight female vagina, which gives me a good fuck and I can brag to whole world that I bang virgins for fun. Get some reality check, car mods, quit pretending and just drive your car like normal people to school or work. Watching people racing in Protons is like watching people racing in children bicycles (with training wheels). Maybe the competition is there, but it’s anti-climactic, like  watching two old people having sex in the bed.


She never cheats and always there to satisfy my sexual urge whenever I feel convenient.  Oh wait, I'm having the same mindfuck like those car mod-retards. LOLOLOL!!

So what’s the point of having a very fast car anyway? Where do you find ample of space to speed your car in Malaysia? It’s traffic jam all the time on all the roads in the major cities of Malaysia. Even if you’re driving in suburban, there are speed bumps literally all over everywhere and they are so high that it can tear your front diffuser down anyway. Also, if your car can go more than 150 Km/h, you have to break the law to do so. Way to go dipshit, you spent your life savings on something you can't use. Worthless.

6 comments:

  1. Hi My dear Schrodinger cat, I am back. with a vengeance...

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  2. Haha, and celebrating with magaritas? I wish I could rant at here as much as you do. Work and study have taken a lot from me.

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  3. So you are bashing up car modders like they are pieces of shit. Lousy modders are like ladies with lousy make-ups on their faces but do you go and shout at them every time you see one of those kinds?

    Life has more things to be worried than writing a blog post to criticize the modders. If you dislike rock music, you can always choose to listen to your emo Chinese ballets, if you get what I mean. Modders have their rights to mod as long as the cars are JPJ approved. That aside, you have all your freedom of speech to post shit on your blog. Peace out.

    P/S: I drive a stock cute little Kenari.

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  4. If life has so many things to worry about, why do you care about what I wrote? Jerkweed.

    P/S: Kenari? Yeah, cute little shitty car.

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  5. You realize these are ricers...right?

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  6. I don't know where you live...but Protons are pretty shitty unless you modify them. Not like putting a big ricey spoiler on it...but modifying the engine. If the engine is modified, and then the put a decent spoiler on, it's probably for downforce, not for looks. Do some research...

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