Saturday, March 5, 2011

Malaysia's Traffic Jams: Truly Wonder of Asia Presented By Stupid Malaysian Drivers

Dear Malaysian, what you've seen above is not an unfamiliar sight eh? That's right, if you're a regular road user who roams around Klang Valley i.e. PJ, Subang, Puchong and KL, chances are that you'll be like me (poor bugger who had lots of leisure time to shooting picture in driver's seat) stuck in the traffic most of the time, somewhere around 7-10 A.M. or 4.30-?? P.M. I was stuck at NPE (opposite of Sunway Pyramid) and there were 2 cars with which one Myvi and one Toyota Vios were trying to squeeze me like two pieces of Oreo cookies did to the white cream stuff. Hey, you wanna play bumper cars? Go ahead, I don't mind, i don't mind you give my car a dent, but what about your Vios? I've got nothing to lose.

This reflects a very ugly attitude of typical Malaysian road user. They're impatient,  showing total disregard to traffic rules and love to cut people's lane while don't give any space at all. Because of attitude like this, traffic jam occurs even when there's no accidents at all, and traffic jam like this often occurs near any exit/interchange/T-junctions at which typical Malaysian would love to cut lane by staying in the right lane up until an exit, stopping all of sudden and try to zig-zag through the already congested traffic and merge into exit/interchange/T-junctions.

However, those who have been queuing up in the traffic would counter back mano a mano. They just won't let you merge. Occasionally, they'll play chicken with you  when they're see you're trying to cut ahead of them. This is just making matters worse. People would go herky-jerky in these situations, even in ones where the person behind isn't trying to cause an accident.

Such traffic congestion could be minimized though. According to this self taught traffic physician:

"Traffic jams on highways are often triggered where two lanes must merge into one. Lanes of cars cannot merge if there are no large gaps between cars. Therefore, drivers who create large gaps between cars will ease this type of traffic jam."

and he suggested:

  • Maintain a large space ahead of your car.
  • Encourage one, two even three cars to merge ahead of you.
  • If traffic slows to a complete stop, KEEP TWO CAR-LENGTHS OF SPACE OPEN AHEAD OF YOU.
  • Never "punish" merging drivers by closing your gap.
  • Other suggestions

I totally agree with that. I've done that before by grudgingly being polite and maintaining a space ahead of car so that other faster (aggressive) drivers could merge into my lane easily, hence reducing the congestion that may spill over on the other lane. This is something they don't teach at driving school (Yeah, I've got a Kopi-O license) and it's free at no cost!

To readers who are reading this post [still very low traffic (no pun intended)], kindly spread this message to educate all the Malaysian drivers to FUCKING DRIVE WITH COURTESY, PATIENCE AND GET YOUR SENSE OF DIRECTION RIGHT! Share that link via Facebook or re-tweet it. I'm going to post the above link on my Facebook. If nobody "likes" it, I shall see a 30 minutes of stop and go at Jalan Ampang in the next coming decades, which is kinda suck. Somebody needs to inform the Minister of Transport and raise an awareness campaign on this.

Stupidometer for majority of asshole Malaysian drivers: 10/10

To end this post, I present "Weird Al" Yankovic's "She drives like crazy":

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