Saturday, March 5, 2011

Stupid Question: How to overcome shyness?

Dear Kitty:

I can't believe I'm seeking for advice here at which there's no whatsoever visitor traffic. But that's a good thing, I'm here because I have a problem. I know this is stupid. I-AM-SHY especially with GIRLS. Yeah, go ahead and laugh at me, but hope the advice I've got would be worth while. Here goes:

There's a cute girl whom I work together in my lab. We work kinda close. She's a microbiologist researcher whereas I'm doing genetic research. Ever since I started working at here, she has showed signs of being interested in me like trading glance and giving me a warm smile when we meet. But I always shrug her off. I mean, I would trade glances back, but I'm way too shy to initiate a conversation. Day by day I've grown feelings for her, yet I haven't even had a cool chat with her that last more than 3 minutes. We've just traded "hello".

I think she got some interest in me. I mean, when she sees me, she would look straight to my eyes and say "hi". Occasionally, she would ask me whether I'm going to stay late for OT, my face would turn red and answering "yes" with tone like a newborn kitten. When she needs help in the lab, she often turn to me and seek for assistance.

Anyway, she seems really trying to get my attention. But I'm just too shy that I can't do anything. I'm 24 and I've never had a relationship for that matter. I have this very bad social anxiety. She's attractive and I think there are a lots of guys pursuing her. I would like to ask her out, maybe for a lunch? But I'm afraid she'd find out what a loser I am once we hang out.

I hate my shyness. I wish it go away. What should I do?

A Shy Boy

LOL, you're such a wimp. Sorry mate, if you're only shy toward girls, what you are actually suffering from is love shyness. It can cripple your social life and I'm glad that you did the right thing for seeking help at here because you've shown a will to overcome your chronic shyness.

First thing first, be yourself. Gather all the courage you have and make a move. Do not fear rejection because you have nothing to lose, except, well, maybe, virginity? When you're making a move, you don't need to get weird or feeling awkward about it. Talk to her with confidence. Your pick-up line doesn't have to be Steve Martin funny. An ordinary wit shall be fine. Don't wait too long, ok? Just get past your shyness and work into flirting with her. If she reciprocates, that's a good sign.

The car is in the driveway.
You have the keys.
Full tank of petrol.
You know very well that the car will run.

All you need to do?

Turn on the car.

Don't over think it when there's nothing to think about. 

Don't stress yourself. Just be confidence and just play the game. Don't play to win, just play


Do nothing?

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